two

A Chapter by Laur

the beginning of the end

Then

I curled the last piece of my auburn hair as I heard my younger brother moaning in the next room about me taking so long to my mom. This was the first day of my senior year where I wasn't just Lilly the jock/chorus nerd. I was Dylan's girlfriend. The idea of all the new routines were rushing through my head. Would I meet him before science? Would he sit at my table at lunch or me at his? Was he a hand holder? Everything was making me wonder. Although Dylan and I grew up together, and he basically knew everything about me already, this was all new to me.

I took one last look in my mirror and sighed, I actually was pleased with my appearance. It's strange how one person can change your self confidence in a matter of a few uplifting words and unpredictable forehead kisses.

"Tyler go warm up the car!" I shouted through our conjoined wall.

"Lil I wanna get to school for 6:30!" he grunted as he jingled my keys down the stairs.

As I jogged down the stairs my nose filled with the smell of hazelnut coffee and pine. There was something about my house that was always so welcoming and warm.

"Honey I made you a lunch" My mom slapped a brown bag into my hand. Her hazel eyes squinted and clearly had another "I never went to bed because I was grading papers" kind of night.

"You look beautiful." She kissed my cheek and stood my the door.

"Love you mum" I shoved the bag into my teal backpack and slipped out the front door.

I clung to my phone as I entered the senior filled cafeteria. I sat down at my usual table with my best friends and looked around for any sign of Dylan until I locked eyes with his best friend; and of course Dylan was at his side scarfing down a bagel and laughing. I took a minute to watch him. His nearly black hair messily swept over his dark eyes. He was wearing a black tee shirt that accentuated the newly toned football muscles he had developed in the passing fall. How did I get so lucky? Eventually I was caught. He waved off his friends and began to walk my way. I let my nervously swinging legs fall until my navy converse were off on their way over to him as well. He nodded towards the hall, where my class was going to be beginning in about twenty minutes. I followed.

We leaned up against the wall and I waited for anything, just anything to come out of my mouth. Nothing. Dry.

"Someone looks very pretty today" he took a finger and spun it around a curl.

"Have to keep you around don't I?" Okay Lilly, that was swift.

He chuckled deeply as I felt his hands grasp my hips.

"You won't have to worry about that. I've wanted you since I first saw you walk into our sixth grade history class. You'll have to run away from me Lil." he whispered sweetly as his slightly parted lips kissed my cheek. I felt his firm stomach press against mine. His hot breath blew across my neck. A pang of urges to pull him into the nearest classroom swept through my legs. The thing was, I don't think he was even trying. I couldn't imagine how things would go if he really did try to seduce me.

Now

It was a disturbing emptiness inside me. I climbed back beside him in bed and shut my watery eyes. Maybe if I face the other way he won't notice. I felt an arm wrap around my exposed torso and pull me in like a limp rag doll. His deep breaths of deep sleep filling the warm room. I looked out the window, the fuchsia sun was rising over the city. Coming here wasn't ever a good idea after the long nights of rum and cokes and wandering hands. I knew that every time I woke up hours before him to ponder my mess of a life. To him I was the best friend who was cool enough for tv show marathons that led into nighttime flings. To me, he was my few hours of forgetting my past. Always a temporary rush. I felt my eyes begin to dry. Ashamed is all I really was.

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