My Defeat

Mountains of thoughts
Swish and swivel
Dance and dig
In my mind

Its pains me for eternal time
A unruly sounds echoes through
I feel so small
So alone

A scared feeling
Its truly owns
The desperation
To find my way home

I feel lost
I can't see or feel
Its a numbing pain
Will I ever be able to heal

It cuts me deep
Hits the heart
Makes me bleed
Sadly this is my defeat

Reviews

[Exa Lectric]

I really like this poem. on the last line of the second to last stanza you might want to end it with a question mark. (because its a question). anyway, i love it. It has a sense of fright and makes me feel like i am lost and helps me to connect with the meaning you are trying to present. It is very good. Keep writing! i can't wait to see more of your work!

[Lyzzy Redd]

This was really good!!! It conveyed a lot of feelings to me, and I felt connected to this poem. Keep writing. =)