Mind like fire bugs

When the word becomes silent only for a moment do you realise your purpose, your meaning. We all experience it and yet few open up their minds enough to be aware of it. Is it because we are scared? Scared of feeling alive? Feeling every cell in our body move with our blood?

I am not scared, I am not fearful, I have opened up my mind so far sometimes it inverts itself and can't close again. I can feel the nerves in my mind like fire bugs moving rapidly in my thoughts. What is that, when you can feel your thoughts? Awareness of your being, perhaps awareness of your soul?