Sagittarius: The Archer

Do you fancy me mad? Most people do when they look at my work… an art really; but where I may see beauty you see disaster. Some people consider my ways a bit radical and extreme. Doctors (psychiatrists) attempt to analyze me and place me in a category of being a psychopath but on the contrary I’m a high functioning sociopath. Does that make me any less human or any more of the monster you think I’ve become? People and their perceptions have always fascinated me...more so once their actions are displayed off a thought. Never once did I or do I consider myself right or wrong...it’s merely a behavior, an impulse, an obsession. Yes, after hearing my story told by others in books you may jump to the conclusion that I am broken, damaged, and/or troubled. You may even think my childhood was traumatic and/or abusive; that I was raised in poverty or turned to alcohol or drugs to cope with some part of myself I just couldn’t bear to live with. I don’t blame you for coming to such conclusions they allow me the excuse of being who I am and yet none of it is true. In all honesty, I never needed an excuse to become who I am. See once you close your mind off to the stereotypical thoughts of “ a person like me” and open it to the idea of an alternative reality maybe just maybe you will come a little closer to understanding my ways. But I’m not telling you any of this for you to understand me… that would be redundant and expendable at the least. If you take away the blood, the broken bones, the fact I desecrated and sodomized others for no reason but for pure enjoyment and to satisfy my level of curiosity, then you wouldn’t see a victim at all. You will become the witness of a survivor. Taking pity on those that are no longer with us is beyond reproach… they don’t care if you care and killing me in their name will not change the fact that we all will die...it’s inevitable and the only thing promised as a guarantee. How simple and  undecorated are you to think that tomorrow will come? That somehow the decisions you make today will save you from an end. Here’s a fact for you, on average a human sleeps almost 26 years in their lifetime; so if I assisted in their departure by age 27 can you really call it murder? They never even had time to wake up. It’s this way of reasoning that has you thinking I’m mad, right? It’s the smile on my face as I share all of this with you that makes your teeth clench and your bones shudder. You look at me with hatred and disgust for my actions. I’m supposed to apologize and feel remorse for what I’ve done, don’t I? Something has to be wrong with me if I don’t, right? And yet, in the midst of you standing in front of me with judgemental eyes and a revolting stare, you lack the reason for any of it. You’re so abstracted from the whirlwind of my actions that the bigger picture of things eludes you. You’re so “up to here” with me that my death cannot come fast enough for your own pleasure and satisfaction. Does it make your stomach turn that you are just like me? That the darkness you see is a mere reflection of your desired plague and that’s where loathing stems from? See you never once questioned my motives once I was in your custody. You never once thought to wonder why I am doing or did any of it. Oh...how misguided are you? How selfish are you to keep me here and focus only on the time rather than my words. Right now you see me as irrelevant, a moment in time’s headline, a distant facture in history’s rewrite; But the truth is you’re in the same ocean just on a different boat. Doesn’t mean mine will sink before yours or vise versa… it’s a simple illustration to show you how we aren’t much different. If you don’t consider me “crazy” at this point, may I ask you a rather bizarre question? Have you ever considered how the last cookie in a jar feels? Or what about the first raindrop to hit the ground and yet no one bothers to acknowledge its existence unless followed by others with the same intention but with a different sound? If you can imagine how that feels then you can understand that I am just a cookie… the last one in the jar. I will not be remembered once I’m gone… I will be admired while I’m here… and yet like so many others before me...I will be replaced in due time. Everyone has the craving of something sweet. Do you still fancy me mad? How disappointing...