By the end of the night she
knew it would all be over. She wasn't exactly scared she knew how the night
would end for a long time. She just hated to know she was leaving so much
unsaid, so much of her life had not been lived. Although she'd never admit it
to anyone, she hated the life she has lived. Words of hatred echoed through her
mind. She always managed to put on a smile and walk around with the greatest
outer appearance when on the inside she was chewing herself up for being
something she hated…a fake, fraud, someone who was holding back for the
amusement of other, worse the approval of others. 'Why do I need their
approval?' She found herself thinking more than once. She knew her true
friends; the people in her life that she let deep into her life would always
love her for who she really was; yet she still hides from even them. Giving
everyone a different piece of her. Revealing only things that they themselves
could handle. How could she tell others things she wasn't ready to admit to
even herself…the truth was, she couldn't.
So she kept her secret for
years it gnawed at her. Tearing her from the inside out, till she could no
longer take it. It had to come out. Everything normally does. She could no
longer hide it from herself; she had to let it out.
She
stood there, hands gripping the sink, looking at her paling face in the mirror…
"Now or never." She said, eyes not leaving the image of the girl in
the mirror. No more will she be the person she despised. No more…finally she
was free