The City of Gold

Gold is rare, expensive and gorgeous. Blood is common, cheap and appaling. Did we ever have a chance to begin with..?

There was once a city, at the center of this world.

Her streets were quite gorgeous, her domes coated in gold.

Her walls were ancient, their bricks were old. 

Many adored this city; of her beauty legends were told.

There was once a city, within her a temple of faith.

But some disagreed, and sometimes faith can breed hate.

More temples arose, all pretaining the same.

There can only be one god. Then the violence came.

A city of gold, splattered with red. 

The city was crying, the city bled.

A city of gold. 

Can you see how beautiful she is?

Don't mind her weeping, just enjoy her, be at ease.

The city of songs, can you imagine life without her?

The city of blood. The city of disaster.

And time has gone by, and the blood pooled at her gums.

The corpses filled her gardens, their memories silenced her hum.

But the gold, can you see it..? How beautiful it is..?

Some of it was taken,

There were soldiers to appease. 

The songs are still there! They sing of valor and hope.

But the city is misreable, clawing for ways to cope.

There are soldiers there always, dying to defend.

But there she is, crying, she just wants it to end.

Author's Note

Written for 'Jerusalem Day' in my country.
A day in which we honor the City.

Reviews

[Marianne Rose]

Such a real, authentic telling of the history and sorrow of this city- beautifully told, with pathos and vivid imagery. Very sad, but very true depiction of the beauty and luminescence lost to violence and arrogance. It brings my heart closer to the realities that people now face in Jerusalem, despite the fact that visiting there is a sacred pilgrimage for so many. Thank you for writing this touching truth.

[LastMonth]

Thank you for reading. The story of Jerusalem is harsh, I believe it should stand as an allegory for protecting things we hold dear without suffocating it.

[Marianne Rose]

I agree- we must find a way to protect and safeguard the sacred without chains and locks. The heart does no good for us if we have so armored it we can no longer feel joy. Jerusalem is a kind of heart, and then also a metaphor for so many others that are sacred to us- even God, who we seem to try to protect also from others who believe something different than we do. This allegory can represent so many other things and beings in our lives. . .

[GalaxyGhost]

So beautifully tragic just like life all around. Terrible things going on that I wish would end. So I say this is such a wonderful poem!

[LastMonth]

Thank you. :)

[GalaxyGhost]

You're welcome!

[Gee]

A beautifully sad write. Jerusalem is synonymous with death, misery, war, to us, but should be the polar opposite.

[LastMonth]

Thank you. I too wish it wasn't so.

[Inject Positivity]

How sad it is to see the place of Jesus Christ under such pain, a city which has always been the city where the son of God put his foot and lived a life just like a human being and spread the message of hope all around the world... I think your message is quite familiar to the condition of the whole world at this present moment with war and terrorism all round... If the city of our savior is under such pain then what the other parts of the world can have at this moment? I think the concept you chose here is quite beautiful and sad, it really stands out... Well done...

Sincerely
Dhiman

[LastMonth]

Thank you for the compliments.
It's a bitter tale, really. The city's legacy is as much about god, faith and religon as it is about bloodshed, war and pain.

[Hyacinth]

A wonderful way to honor Jerusalem Day. I love the way it seems like you're telling a story. As I said, wonderful. This brought tears to my eyes.

[LastMonth]

Thanks for stopping by Hyacinth. I appreciated it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A most beautiful piece that guides the reader to the wonders on not only your mind but your intelligence, well done, good read.

[LastMonth]

Thank you kindly for the review.
I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[Lyn Anderson]

A beautiful, sad, and truthful tribute to Jerusalem
Small notes -- minor corrections -- use a semi colon instead of a comma, last line, first stanza, and in the last stanza add an S to want. That said, it is a wonderful poem, and these little details are ones many native English speakers would miss, and in no way take away from the poem.

[LastMonth]

Fixed!
The S in the Want was already pointed out by AliciaB, but I never got around to fixing it.
I also changed the second to last line, the 'Elope' felt forced.

[Lyn Anderson]

Perfect. Much better. Sorry, I rarely read others' reviews as it clouds my understanding.

[LastMonth]

Oh. That's quite fine. I almost never get around to reading them either.
Sometimes I wonder how people around the world view Jerusalem. Obviously to us, it is this sacred and holy city, one that we've only recently returned to. I sometimes wonder if people around the world are confused by the huge fuss around it.

[Lyn Anderson]

I was raised Catholic, and we too see Jerusalem as a holy city. While I understand its historical and religious significance, as a human, I wish we could find a compromise everyone could live with.

[LastMonth]

If only human lives were as valuable as historic places, holy artifacts and such,
Maybe we would have a chance. But I'm an optimistic person. Call me delusional but I think we're getting there.

[barleygirl]

This is a very creative & powerful message on many levels. The stand-out idea is that fighting over faith is senseless (to me). There's also a side message about how people can sometimes cling to appearances, saying everything is good becuz it's still gold all over the outside, but "blood pools at her gums" (very vivid phrase, I'm seeing buildings like teeth with blood around the base). And the final stanza does a great job describing an uneasy truce, so heavy it can crush spirits, but we still sing & cling to the vision of gold, while trying to ignore the tears & blood.

[LastMonth]

Thanks alot for the review Barley. The city itself is both magical and dreadful. I wish people could seperate beauty from greed.

[AliciaB]

I love this poem! The interplay between beauty and hatred/violence, represented by the combined imagery of gold and blood, is vivid and powerful. The combination of these sharply different elements in such a blunt, stark way clearly expresses the emotion and struggle behind the story of the city. I think the best example of this is the fourth stanza - the juxtaposition of hope and admiration with despair and death is very interesting and effective. I like the questions like "But the gold, can you see it..? How beautiful it is..?" throughout, as they lend an almost desperate tone to the poem. It's like the speaker is trying to hide all of the horrible things going on and focus on the positives because they love the city so much that it hurts to have to accept the brutality that is a part of it. Yet at the same time there is acknowledgment of that brutality: "The city of blood. The city of disaster." Just a couple of suggestions - change "want" to "wants" in the final line, and if you could, I would use a different word than "elope" in the third to last line. I get the idea, but it sounds a little odd in the poem, almost like the rhyme is forced. Do whatever sounds best to you - and don't forget that near rhyming is totally acceptable. :) Overall, I was very impressed with this poem. You have done an excellent job of honoring the city and expressing the beauty and conflict that make it what it is. Great work!

[LastMonth]

That's actually really, really helpful.
I think I'll do it right now.
I was debating over the Want/Wants, my mastery of the english language isn't as good as I'd want it to be!

About the elope. Yup. I'll definetly rephraes it. I see exactly what you mean, sometimes, in my desire to sustain the flow of the writing, I compromise with myself.

Other then that, thank you for the review. This city, it means so much to so many people. It has been the epicenter of Kingdoms, states and religions. Yet sometimes I wonder, if she's worth the price. And if she could talk, wouldn't she beg us to stop fighting over her?