Across The Stars

Short. rhymes, a little allegory about home and what lies beyond it.

Across the stars, eons from here, floated a ship that nobody could hear.

A flight it has taken, up and away, finding its paths, through the Milky Way.

Through time and space, through hot and cold, they had to race from their planet, their home of old. 

Departure is never easy for any, especially when the ones left behind are many. For so long that it could not be recounted in 

quantity, they looked for a home, not a mere triviality.

They had a place to call their own, a home of a sort, kind of a loan. But 

 the passage of ages and the mistakes of the past left those people homeless and choice less at last. With heavy hearts and a burden to bear, they would leave their loved ones behind, only a handful of people this story could share.

Knowing that they will likely never return, they took all they could; there was no time to mourn. They floated and drifted across the milkiest of ways, knowing that patience will need to last them for many days.

Their planet was lost. Defiled and voided, by the time they awoke, it could not be avoided. And when all is lost, they all knew it the same. Some had to go; there was no time for blame. And for one wondrous moment, united at last, they did what they could. So their race could outlast.

War and famine, nonchalance and regret, they destroyed their own home, now there was but a single outlet.

They travelled the stars, for miles beyond numbers, and these few men and women with such a burden were encumbered. In their deepest of slumbers, in the depths of disparity, they would leave everything behind, finally seeing with clarity.

When they awoke, not knowing how long, they burst into tears, and laughter and song. A new home was found, vibrant and strong. Young and hopeful, nothing was wrong.

Hopefully, the eldest one said, we could do this time better, and it won't end so bad. Their ship had landed, so long ago, in a planet called Earth, where they could rebuild and could grow.

Across the stars, they live and they prosper, yet some mistakes continue to foster, hopefully this time, we do things right, because you never know when that ship may have to take another flight.

 

 

 

Author's Note

Not a native english speaker, but that does not mean I want you to go easy on me.

Reviews

[Stan Lee]

How is it that I've had this shelved for months and never left a review!? This is one of my favorites. Especially for the plot twist at the end. There is such a great message between the story lines. I really enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing it with us. :) Stay inspired!

PS. couldn't help notice in the comments that you've been practicing for your great adventure mate! ;)

[LastMonth]

Thanks for stopping to enjoy this one. I still have time until my flight in january but I am excited!

[Matching Socks]

This is incredibly touching and very good.
Great work.

[LastMonth]

Thanks Ana!

[Matching Socks]

You're welcome! :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Well, I have news for you my friend, you are a poet and you didn't know it. While you say you do not like poetry, in fact, both the pieces I have read from you thus far are essentially prose poems that are presented as short stories. Over all, well done and engaging.

[LastMonth]

Haha!
Well. It's complicated.
I've seen alot of poetry in this site.
Some of it... It doesn't have rhymes!
To me that's both blasphamous and interesting.
I feel like a caveman that discovered fire, yet it not sure how it feels about it.
Do I stick to eating the flesh raw, in the way that I know and love..?

I'll always consider myself a storyteller, but stories come in all shapes and form.
Thank you kindly for the review, friend.

[Lyn Anderson]

I would say I never focus on rhyme. If it rhymes it's because it flows naturally that way. But yes, sometimes it throws a person off if they are used to a certain style.

[James]

Very cool story. It kept me engaged from beginning to end the rhyming was good, but off in cadence a few times, but we all do that and aside from a few grammatical errors that few people would pick up on this was a nice clean write. The biggest thing that jumps out is "choice less" should be one word choiceless. I might even suggest writing it in shorter verse, that makes it easier to keep the meter and rhyme consistent. Nice job.

[LastMonth]

Thanks mate!
It's one of the older stories I've wrote.
Definetly could use some cleaning,
I'll likely get down to cleaning my Online Stories on some nice sunday. I suffer from an atrocious lack of patience when it comes to posting here, I really need to go over them more.

[James]

I do the same thing. I'm constantly revising and editing after I post.

[Woody]

another goodie, LM. I love the idea. and God, maybe it did happen this way. looking at the state of the planet, I think we'd better get that ship ready again.
love it. possibly my favourite among your writes.

[LastMonth]

Once again, thank you for the review woods. (I can call you woods, right?)
And honestly? I think this one is my favorite too. If only because I'm a very hopeful person.

[Woody]

you're welcome and yes you can call me Woods.
btw you may have missed another review of mine.

[Gaia Octavia]

Very nice! I love the message in this and how the reader assumes they're reading about earth's future fate until the end when they realize they are reading about its birth as our home. I like it because I think this could be the eventual fate of earth and I also think if another planet was ever found, that eventually we would make the same kind of mistakes once the people who remembered died out. There were a few times when the cadence of the story was thrown off with the rhyming but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. Especially because you're rhyming a story rather than a short poem. I just wanted to point out that in the third paragraph, you have "Choice less" written but it's one word, so choice less=Choiceless. Honestly, you write English a lot better than a lot of Americans so my hat is off to you for being able to learn it so well. I for one am terrible at learning a second language! Again, great job. I really liked this.

[LastMonth]

Thank you kindly for the review and for the grammar check. I'll be fixing it in a moment! I really appreciate your input on this. I'm glad that you liked the idea, I did try baiting the reader into believing that this is Earth's Future, while saving the twist for the ending.

Honestly, it is not that far fetched to think that we could be fugitives from a distant, far away and doomed planet, is it not..? :)
Thanks for the review mate!

[LastMonth]

Actually I can see some of the mistakes in the Rhymes are from me Copy-pasting this from my Word document improperly. A few lines are misplaced. I'll fix it right away.

[Gaia Octavia]

I have often wondered if that was the case. People talk about ancient Egyptians creating things that look like "aliens" but who's to say they weren't passing on stories about where we came from? It's definitely an interesting thought.

[Gaia Octavia]

Sweet! I love easy fixes. :-)

[LastMonth]

Oho, I could talk about this all day. I'm going to divert to a different case here, In case you watched Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (Or better yet, read the book) It appears as though Harry is saved by his father at the end, with him casting a Patronum to save him. Long story short, Harry ended up being the one saving himself.

What if all these clues.. All these 'Alien' clues, the Pyramids, the Aztecian gods, the knowledge of the stars that seemed so out of porportions for the ancient world--- What if it's all just our ancestors..?

They say the a fact becomes a rumor, and a rumor turns into story which later turns into legend and finally myth. Just my cup of tea on that topic, hahahaha.

[Gaia Octavia]

I have had those same thoughts. It's a fun topic to roll around in your mind. There are so many possibilities and great prompts for stories waiting to be told :-)