The Red, The Blue, and The FUgly Episode 9: The Great Investigation Part 2

The Red, the Blue, and the FUgly

Written by: William Edward Self Jr.

Makers: William Edward Self Jr. & Alexander Paul LeBlanc

Red = Red Team

Blue = Blue Team

Gray = Unimportant Characters

Black = Important people.

{Name}= Computer

Training:

Episode 9- The Great Investigation Part 2

[Red Base]

Connors: [Groans] Ok! Fine! I don’t care about what you have to tell me. You know what you can keep your little secret from me. But! Mark my words. I will find out what you are hiding.

Scorm: Ah come on! Don’t give up that easily.

Connors: We’ve been here way too long.

Scorm: Oh right! We’ve been in this room for like an hour and you want to call it quits.

Connors: An hour!? We’ve been here for almost seventy-two hours! I haven’t eaten ever since Monday.

Scorm: What’s today?

Connors: Wednesday.

Scorm: Ah that isn’t that long. Can’t you go at least one more day?

Connors: No. I think that I’m getting too old for this kind of stuff.

Scorm: But your only thirty.

Connors: Well that’s way to old when it comes to the army.

Scorm: I’m forty-five.

Connors: No, no don’t try to make me feel better. I’m just not good enough for this job. [Starts To Cry]

Scorm: Ah come on you aren’t that bad.

Connors: I can’t even destroy an entire race without screwing up.

Scorm: No I think that you…… Wait what did you say?

Connors: I said….Uh nothing.

Scorm: No what was that?

Connors: What? What are we talking about?

Scorm: Oh no you don’t. You can’t play stupid with me. Of course who can tell the difference?

Connors: [Remains Silent]

[Missile Base]

[Computer Room]

All But Avenger & Franky: [Points Gun At T**d]

Avenger: Any reason why I found him talking about killing everyone?

Franky: WHAT! T**d you didn’t?

T**d: Who will you believe you fool? The one that you have known ever since you took this post or these eavesdropping humans?

Franky: You’re human too T**d.

T**d: No I’m not you….Uh I mean that’s besides the point. Who will you believe?

Franky: [Turns To Avenger] He has a point. I have known him a very long time.

Avenger: But I heard him myself. He said that all would die!

Franky: How do you know he wasn’t talking about the locals?

Avenger: We are the locals!

Franky: No I meant the other locals.

Avenger: What locals?

Franky: The fish.

Revenger: Whoa that was intelligent.

Avenger: Shut up. Now what are we going to do about this?

Shaq: I think that I can help with this oh so great conflict.

Franky: Shaq? What do you have to say about this?

Shaq: Well sir I have to add on to what Avenger here had to say about what he heard from the mouth of T**d.

Avenger: You do?

Shaq: Oh yeah. This here guy over there named T**d has been acting a little funny lately.

Franky: How funny?

Nut & Bucket: [Turn Around]

Nut: Like Tom Jones funny?

Bucket: Yeah or Peter Griffin funny?

Shaq: Uh just strange.

Chain & Butcher: [Turns Around]

Chain: Strange like The Ring strange?

Butcher: No he means like crop circles, strange.

Shamus & Black Sheep: [Turns Around]

Shamus: He means like the Loch Ness Monster strange.

Black Sheep: No he means the over population of rats strange.

Shaq: Uh?

Revenger: [Turns Around] He means like the over priced gas strange.

All: [Stares At Revenger]

Revenger: What?

Shaq: I just mean that I too have heard T**d speaking of killing all of humanity.

Franky: Well that’s strange. Well what do you have to say about all of this T**d?

T**d: [Remains Silent]

Franky: T**d? [Looks At T**d] Where’s T**d!?

All: [Looks At Revenger]

Revenger: Oh right this is my fault! Let’s not think of the fact that all of you turned around but when I do it’s my fault he got away.

Avenger: You were suppose to watch him!

Revenger: Yeah and so was Nut, Bucket, Chain, Butcher, Shamus, Black Sheep, and you. Yeah even you were suppose to be watching him! So why are you only blaming me!?

Avenger: I was just playing with you.

Revenger: Yeah well you all seem to do that a lot. And I’m the one you like to blame for it all.

Avenger: Ok. Then we will split up into teams. Color coated. Let’s go.

Avenger & Revenger: [Walks Out of Room]

Black Sheep: He seemed real mad.

Nut: Yeah well you a******s blamed him for your own mistakes.

Everyone: [Looks At Nut]

[Desert]

[Top of Ruin Structure]

Elite: [Walks Up Behind Roc Tahn]

Roc Tahn: What is it Shak Ta?

Shak Ta: The droid.

Roc Tahn: What about it?

Shak Ta: It’s gone.

Roc Tahn: [Swings Around] What! Spread out! We must find him! [Starts Running]

[Destroyed Phantom]

Tycoon: Fools.

Unknown Soldier: Do they know?

Tycoon: No. They sent in those engineer freaks! I didn’t release anything though. Each has been planted with a virus.

Unknown Soldier: We have to fulfill their plans.

Tycoon: When will you show yourself? If I weren’t programmed to follow orders I’d think you were a traitor.

Unknown Soldier: I will meet in person when the time comes. Until then droid, do what you were made to do.

Tycoon: Yes sir.

Unknown Soldier: [Disappears]

Tycoon: [Runs Out in Open] Creatures!

Roc Tahn: After him!

Shak Ta, Crosh Ma, Tenik & Benuk: [Runs Up To Tycoon]

Benuk: Don’t move.

Roc Tahn: [Runs Up] What were you thinking droid!?

Tycoon: How would you like to know everything?

Roc Tahn: What?

Tycoon: Take me to your leader. It’s time you know what the humans are planning.

Elites: [Look At Eachother]

[Missile Base]

Avenger & Revenger: [Walk Outside]

Avenger: Hey are you ok?

Revenger: Of course! What’s up with your mushy question?

Avenger: Well you seemed mad back in the computer room.

Revenger: What? When was that?

Avenger: About ten minutes ago. You mean you don’t remember?

Revenger: I remember everyone looking at me and then you telling me to follow you that we were going to split up to find T**d.

Avenger: I knew it. So much anger burned your brain back to nothing. You had it for the time you were mad and your head got to hot in that helmet burning your brain.

Revenger: As if you even have a brain.

Avenger: I think I liked you when you were angry.

Revenger: I wasn’t mad.

Avenger: Yes you were.

Revenger: Listen! I think I’d know if I were mad! God why you acting like that?

Avenger: You are so retarded.

[Red Base]

[Control Room]

Connors: Ok. Here’s my plan. We can play twenty questions.

Scorm: How do we play that again?

Connors: That’s where I ask you yes or no questions and you answer yes or no if I get it right or wrong.

Scorm: Alright shoot.

Connors: The topic will be your friend.

Scorm: Ok.

Connors: Do you have multiple friends?

Scorm: Yes or no.

Connors: Yes or no what?

Scorm: That’s not an yes or no question.

Connors: Did I get it right or wrong?

Scorm: Yes or no.

Connors: Yes or no what?

Scorm: Stop asking those kind of questions.

Connors: What kind of questions?

Scorm: Those kind!

Connors: I just want to know. Did I get it wrong or right?

Scorm: Yes or no.

Connors: Yes or no what? What was the correct answer to my question? Was it Yes? Was it no? Which one was it?

Scorm: Those are bad questions.

Connors: Why?

Scorm: I can’t say yes or no to them.

Connors: [Groans] Can you answer my first question?

Scorm: Yes or no.

Connors: Which one is it!? Yes? No? Which one?

Scorm: Geez! Ask the right type of questions!

Connors: I am! Which one is it!?

Scorm: That’s not the right question!

Connors: Which one is the right question?

Scorm: A yes or no question!

Connors: Fine! You want a yes or no question?

Scorm: Yes or no. What happens when you’ve asked twenty questions?

Connors: What?! Well if I haven’t guessed what I was trying to get out of you then you win.

Scorm: Ok I win! Better luck next time. [Walks Out of Room]

Connors: Huh? What the? Ah! That’s not fair! [Runs Out of Room]

[In Distance] I want a rematch!

Scorm: [In Distance] Nope!

Connors: [In Distance] You cheated!

[Missile Base]

[Pipe]

T**d: And that is what we were made for. So by your will I will obey.

Unknown Soldier: Good. We will all meet very soon.

T**d: How soon?

Unknown Soldier: That is not of your concern. [Disappears]

T**d: I’d say it is if I’m going to have to bring the chips and dip. Whatever. Must follow through with the plan. [Runs Out in Open] Hey guys!

Bill: There the bloke is now! Master Avenger over here!

Avenger & Revenger: [Runs Up]

Everyone Else: [Runs Up]

Avenger: Don’t move! What are you planning?

Franky: T**d just tell them. They might put this on your permanent record but geez man that ain’t worth dieing over.

Shaq: He ain’t lying there man.

Avenger: Just tell us what you are up to.

T**d: Me? No not me. I have a confession to make. I’m actually scared of what I heard someone else say over the broadcast radio.

Avenger: What you heard? What was that?

Revenger: Yeah what station were you on? Q93? Hip-hop? What channel?

T**d: Is he stupid?

Avenger: Oh yeah. Anyway! What did you hear.

T**d: How would you like to know what the Covenant are up to?

[Red Base]

[Jail]

Gus: So we are all set?

Unknown Soldier: Not quite. But your purpose is coming to be very soon.

Gus: I understand. But if we are doing all of the work what is left for the rest of them?

Unknown Soldier: I doubt that you will completely fulfill your main purpose and that is why we are here to finish what you all started. Be ready.

Gus: Yes sir.

Unknown Soldier: [Disappears]

Gus: [Walks Up To Door] Hey guys.

Guards: [Turns Around]

Gus: I need you to take me to the Captain. I have to tell him that I am better now. Also I have something that I must tell him about his son.

Guards: [Looks At Eachother]

Guard: Hang on. I’ll ask the Captain. Captain Scorm.

Scorm: Yes?

Guard: Gus says he has changed and has something he needs to tell you about your son. Should I let him out?

Scorm: [In Background] (Connors: Give me another chance!) Shut up! Let him out. Tell him to come to the control room.

Guard: Yes sir. Let him out. The Captain said..

Gus: I know exactly what he said. I’ll meet him in the control room right away. [Walks Off]

[Missile Base]

Avenger: This makes no sense at all.

T**d: Oh but it does. The Covenant are behind all of this. I heard it one day as I went to radio in for those chili dogs the other day.

Franky: Yeah I remember that. They weren’t that good by the time they got here.

Avenger: How can we stop them?

T**d: There is a hidden pyramid that they have been hiding for so many years. It lies beneath the ground and is small. The only problem is that inside the pyramid lies a bomb that can destroy a galaxy.

Shamus: God!

Nut: Scary s**t!

T**d: We could go there and disarm it but you have strict orders to find out who is behind this whole ordeal.

Avenger: Yeah and you just told us. So you will come with us.

T**d: Great plan.

Nut: I don’t know if I want to go anywhere with him.

Avenger: You won’t have to. You and the Gold team will stay here and keep watch to make sure that nothing happens while we are gone.

Reginald: I assure you that nothing shall happen while you are gone.

Bill: You can’t assure him of that. You have no idea what will happen.

Reginald: What are you doing? Are you disagreeing with me?

Bill: [Starts Running] I sure am.

Reginald: How dare you! [Runs After Bill]

Revenger: How exactly are we going to get out of here?

Franky: There’s a cave over there that leads to a Wendy’s. Just walk in the cave and take a left. It will be a long walk but it will be worth it.

Avenger: Thank you. Let’s go.

Revenger: Onward!

Avenger: Oh boy.

Avenger & Revenger: [Walks Off]

[Large Explosion]

Reginald: No one disagrees with me!

[Red Base]

[Control Room]

Gus: [Walks In Room]

Scorm: Alright Gus what do you have to tell me now?

Gus: Are you sure that you want him to hear this?

Connors: What? I can keep a secret.

Scorm: Ignore him.

Gus: Fine sir. I thought that you would like to know why I have acting so strange correct.

Scorm: Actually I just gave up about five days ago.

Gus: Well sir I have some shocking news for you.

Scorm: Oh really what color are the pigs this time?

Gus: No sir I am completely serious when I say that Revenger and Avenger are out to destroy us all.

Scorm & Connors: WHAT?

Gus: I know it is hard to believe but they are headed for an ancient pyramid hidden under ground for years by the Covenant and are now going to activate it.

Scorm: Impossible!

Gus: Trust me sir I know what I am talking about. I can take you to this pyramid. I have heard so much about it and have learnt of its location.

Scorm: Then if what you say is true we have to hurry. I just can’t believe it! Fine get me there. [Runs Out of Room]

Connors: Hey you.

Gus: Me?

Connors: Yeah. I’ll give you a chili dog if you tell me something.

Gus: Oh. And what do you want to know?

Connors: What is he hiding?

Gus: Well If you must know and it is for a chili dog. What I have just told you is indeed true. But the thing is they aren’t going to kill all humanity.

Connors: They aren’t?

Gus: No. They are going to wipe your kind off the face of the planet.

Connors: So that’s what he has been hiding?

Gus: the whole truth.

Connors: Thank you. [Walks Out of Room]

Gus: This is all working out perfectly. [Walks Out of Room]

[Covenant Base]

[Main Room]

Roc Tahn: Your honor.

Elite Leader: How dare you bring this human here to our own base. I should have you killed.

Benuk: This is no human your honor. It is a droid.

Elite Leader: A droid?

Benuk: Yes sir. It has something to tell you about the humans.

Elite Leader: Does it now? What is it droid?

Tycoon: How are you with war?

[END]

�" 2009