The Red, The Blue, and The FUgly Episode 7: Challenge of Challenges

The Red, the Blue, and the FUgly

Written by: William Edward Self Jr.

Makers: William Edward Self Jr. & Alexander Paul LeBlanc

Red = Red Team

Blue = Blue Team

Gray = Unimportant Characters

Black = Important people.

{Name}= Computer

Training:

Episode 7: Challenge of Challenges

[Desert]

Roc Tahn: What have you learned from him?

Elite: Not much of anything. [Turns To Face Tycoon] He just keeps babbling the same words. It is as if that is all he was taught to say.

Roc Tahn: Do you know what his plans are?

Elite: Obviously he was created to destroy this so called Blue team.

Roc Than: We must find out more. I have called forth some of those human engineers to see what they can do.

[Turns To face Tycoon]

Let the great rings guide us.

[Outside Blue Base]

Avenger: Alright there it is.

Revenger: How is it that we always get paired up together?

Avenger: Well you refused to stay with Butch and you denied that you would do better going on with Dodger.

Revenger: That guy gives me the creeps.

Avenger: If I shot someone with a Spartan laser and found out that, after not dieing, they had a grudge on me, I’d be scared to be alone with them too.

Revenger: I’m not scared of him. I just don’t like him.

Avenger: Is that why you shot him with the Spartan laser?

Revenger: You have no idea why I did that.

Avenger: Whoa I could have you court marshaled for saying that. Thankfully for you I know that you don’t mean that.

Revenger: Yeah. So how are we going to get in there?

Avenger: Well I thought that we would use the front door.

Revenger: Oh so those guys aren’t going to stop us?

Avenger: Well they aren’t suppose to but we want to look professional about this. So here’s the plan…

[Moments Later]

Revenger: Oh dear look at me! It seems that I have lost yet another bet! Now I stand out in the open, oh so much stupidity! Hope that I will win the next Rock, Paper, Scissors match.

Blue Soldiers: [Runs Toward Revenger]

Revenger: Oh no it looks as if I am about to get caught. If only there was something that I could do. Maybe if someone got off their lazy a*s and shot these guys.

Blue Soldier: Well well. What do we have here?

Revenger: I’m the distraction.

Blue Soldiers: [Look At Eachother] [Turns Back To Revenger]

Blue Soldier: Distraction for what?

Avenger: [Jumps Down Behind The Blue Soldiers] [Hits Both Soldiers In the Back]

Revenger: Took you long enough.

Avenger: Simulation of Patience. [Runs In Base]

Revenger: Yeah well I failed that simulation! [Follows Avenger]

[Outside Red Base]

Booker: Well this should be easy.

Chain: What makes you think that?

Booker: We can just walk in there, take out the other guys, get the flag, and get it back to our base.

Chain: Sounds way to easy.

Booker: Well Connors told me that all we have to do is give them a riddle that they can’t get.

Chain: And that works?

Booker: He said it did for him. Besides I have the best one.

Red Soldier: Hey you stop! [Points Gun At Chain & Booker]

Booker: I’ll handle this. [Walks Up To Red Soldier] What get’s wet as it dries?

Red Soldier: A towel! Don’t try to distract us!

Chain: Uh I don’t think that they were suppose to get that were they?

Booker: Uh no.

Red Soldiers: [Raise Weapons]

Red Soldier: Don’t move!

Chain: I hope your next plan involves running.

Booker: I think that you can handle our next move.

Chain: Good. [Turns and Runs]

Booker: So what’s the plan?

Red Soldier: OPEN FIRE!

Booker: Oh s**t! [Turns and Runs] Oh yeah you a*****e!

Chain: Better you than me!

Red Soldiers: [Run After Chain & Booker]

[Inside Blue Base]

Avenger: [Runs Up To Corner]

Revenger: HA! [Runs Behind Cover] Whoosh! [Runs Behind Avenger] [Whispers] Just don’t move.

Avenger: Will you stop that? Come on we have to be quiet. We want to take those guys out before they see us.

Revenger: We can take them. [Starts To Walk Out]

Avenger: Butcher doesn’t look to happy.

Revenger: OH S**T! [Runs Back Behind Avenger] [Crotches Down] Butcher’s out there?

Avenger: Looks like him and Clipper.

Revenger: To hell with the challenge. If Butcher is the guy that’s guarding the flag he can go pole dance with it for all I care just as long as it is far from me.

Avenger: You don’t honestly think that he still remembers you from two years ago do you?

Revenger: For my sake I hope he doesn’t. Besides it doesn’t matter if he remembers me or not just as long as I remember him.

Avenger: Why?

Revenger: If I remember him I’ll know to stay the hell away from him. Like two thousand million billion miles away.

Avenger: Well one of us has to distract them. [Looks Down At Revenger]

Revenger: [Looks Up At Avenger] Two simple words I learnt when I got shot in the tongue: F**k no.

Avenger: Come on it won’t be that bad. Look we can play another game.

Revenger: Bet you I’ll win this one.

Avenger: Oh really?

Revenger: You bet your sorry a*s paycheck on it.

Avenger: You’re on. I’m thinking of a number between one and ten. {Thinking} Five. He’ll never get this.

Revenger: Five. F**k you. You be the dumbass that gets killed.

Avenger: What the? How the hell did you get that?

Revenger: Like I said. Anything to keep me as far from that bulky freak the better.

Avenger: Fine. Just run in and get the flag. We can meet up outside.

Revenger: Fine but you better do a good job.

Avenger: [Runs Out in the Open] Hey Lard face!

Revenger: [Runs Around] That should do it!

Butcher & Clipper: [Look At Avenger]

Clipper: I believe the human is talking to you.

Butcher: Oh really? And what makes you think that?

Clipper: Because I have no actually skin. So therefore I can not have a lard face.

Butcher: Well then why don’t we go show him how much lard he wishes he had on his face.

Clipper: Sounds fun. Whatever fun is.

Clipper & Butcher: [Walks Toward Avenger]

Revenger: [Runs in To Capture the Flag] Caw! Caw! [Runs Out With Flag]

Avenger: Got it! [Opens Fire]

Clipper: What are these?

Butcher: I don’t know but it makes me angry!

Avenger: Oh great.

[One Hour Later]

[Outside Blue Base]

Avenger: [Walks Up To Revenger] Where the hell have you been?

Revenger: I’ve been out here waiting for you.

Avenger: Well did you even think for one second that I may need some help? I mean those darts did nothing to them.

Revenger: Oh yeah I could have told you that.

Avenger: What do you mean you could have told me that?

Revenger: Well I heard that Clipper isn’t even human, he’s a robot. And Butcher is so hyped on steroids that not even the biggest tranquilizer dart can bring him down.

Avenger: And when did you plan on telling me?

Revenger: When you asked.

Avenger: I’ve been in there for an hour getting my a*s kicked and what have you been doing out here?

Revenger: Not much of anything.

Avenger: And why haven’t you taken that to our base?

Revenger: Because you said you were in charge and that we would meet up out here once I got the flag.

Avenger: Good God! Help me! Let’s go!

Avenger & Revenger: [Runs Away]

[Outside Red Base]

Booker: Ok I got one! What runs around the house and only makes one track?

Chain: A wheel barrow.

Booker: Yeah but maybe they won’t get that one.

Chain: Or they might shoot our asses off this time.

Booker: What? They haven’t shot at us that much.

Chain: No I guess you’re right. Maybe the third time isn’t the real charm. We can go out there for the fortieth time and they won’t get this one and will be so distracted that we can just walk on in and take their flag before they have a clue what we have done. Is that it?

Booker: You were just being a smartass weren’t you?

Chain: Yes! I say we just shoot them. [Jumps Out] Hey! Reds!

Red Soldiers: [Turn To Face Chain]

Chain: Eat lead! [Starts Firing]

Red Soldiers: [Fall Down Unconscious]

Chain: See my way always works. Let’s go.

Chain & Booker: [Runs In Base]

[Gold Base]

Shamus & Black Sheep: [Runs Up]

Shamus: Hey lads what are you two doing?

Bill: Guarding.

Reginald: Yes but we aren’t suppose to respond. So go away.

Black Sheep: So you can’t respond at all?

Bill: No.

Reginald: Shut it!

Shamus: Say what are you too guarding?

Reginald: None of your business.

Bill: Our flag.

Reginald: You fool! Shut Up!

Bill: Sorry.

Black Sheep: Who are you guarding the flag from?

Bill: The orange team.

Reginald: Will you shut up! Speak one more time and I swear that I will get Lion Heart.

Bill: No more talking.

Shamus: Well we need to see Lion Heart. Mind if we step in for a bit.

Reginald: Fine! Just don’t touch our flag.

Shamus: Oh no we won’t touch your flag.

Shamus & Black Sheep: [Runs in Base]

Bill: I don’t know why we can’t talk to them.

Reginald: [Walks Over To Bill] We can’t talk to them because if we do then we won’t be ready if those other fools try to take our flag.

Bill: Who the Green team?

Shamus & Black Sheep: [Runs Out With Gold Flag]

Reginald: No! The Orange team!

Bucket & Nut: [Walk Up] [Looks At Bill & Reginald] [Walks in Base]

Bill: So now we are trying to guard the flag from two teams?

Reginald: No! You fool! We are guarding the flag from the Orange team!

Bucket & Nut: [Walk Out Of Base] [Walks Up To Reginald & Bill]

Bucket: Hey dipshit. Where the hell is your stupid flag?

Reginald: [Turns To Face Bucket] Ah! They’re here! Battle Stations!

Nut: Hey a*****e! Shut the f**k up.

Reginald: Ok.

Nut: Where the hell is your flag?

Bill: In the base.

Bucket: The f**k it is. We already went in there and didn’t find the f****n thing.

Reginald: What? Gone? Those fiends! Green team has your flag.

Nut: You mean your flag?

Reginald: Yes! We must fight them to get it back.

Nut: Ah s**t I didn’t want to have to do this kind of work! Damn let’s go and get it back.

Bill: Wait! There on the hill there. It’s our flag!

Reginald: Fine then let us go and retrieve it.

All: [Run Up Hill To Flag]

Reginald: Ah well here it is.

Nut: [Picks Up Flag] Thanks!

Bucket & Nut: [Run Off]

Reginald & Bill: [Go Back To Their Posts]

Lion Heart: [Walks Out] Gents I could not help but notice that our flag is missing.

Bill: Oh no sir we know where it is.

Lion Heart: Do you now? Well where is it?

Reginald: We gave it to the Orange team after fighting off those Green baboons.

Lion Heart: You what! You fool after them!

Reginald & Bill: [Run Off]

Lion Heart: Fools!

[Red Base]

Booker: Well that wasn’t too easy.

Chain: You can say that again. Did you see the way that guy dodged those shots?

[Flashback]

Chain: Shoot him!

Booker: I’m trying! He won’t stop moving!

Dodger: You thought you would come in here and take our flag! Man were you wrong.

Chain: Get him!

Booker: I’m trying! He won’t stop moving!

Chain: Is that all you can say?!

Booker: Yes! He won’t stop!

Butch: Hold this for me! [Throws Grenade in Between Chain & Booker]

Chain & Booker: [Looks Down]

Chain: That can’t be good!

[Grenade Explodes]

[ Flashback Ends]

Booker: Yeah that was wild. But we still got the flag.

Avenger & Revenger: [Runs Up]

All: What the!? Drop that flag! What!? Never! Freak! [Pauses] [Slowly] People we know wear dirty socks in bed.

Revenger & Booker: [Drops Flag]

Avenger & Chain: [Starts Firing]

Revenger & Booker: [Joins the Firing]

Avenger: [Shoots Chain in the Head]

Chain: [Falls Down]

Revenger: [Snipes Booker]

Booker: [Falls Down]

Avenger: Well that was a little awkward.

Revenger: [Picks Up Blue Flag] Yeah well you’re carrying that one.

Avenger: Fine.

Avenger & Revenger: [Walks in Base]

Dodger: I swear man I’m glad to see you two. Hey you got our flag back.

Butch: We went through hell to guard it.

Dodger: Yeah but now we graduate. Let’s go show the captain.

All: [Walk To Control Room]

[Control Room]

Scorm: Well isn’t this a surprise.

Revenger: Why? I’ve always been here.

Scorm: Yes well I see you have the Blue team’s flag. And you managed to guard ours.

Dodger: So we did a good job

Scorm: A good job? You did a wonderful job.

Butch: So we graduate now right?

Scorm: Well about that.

Avenger: What about that?

Scorm: We have Intel that someone threatens the Spartan race.

Avenger: What?

Scorm: Someone is out to destroy all of us in one good hit. Now I’ve spoken to Command. They feel that this would make a better challenge than the flags.

Dodger: What! That was hell man.

Scorm: I understand. But none the less you will team up with the rival teams you fought in the tournament plus two members from the Green team to find out who is out to destroy us all.

Revenger: You know I think I know who it is.

Avenger: You do?

Revenger: Yeah I think that it is Blue team.

Scorm: Absurd! The Blue team is like us. Only a different color. There is no doubt that this is a different force. And it is up to you two and the other teams to safe us all from severe destruction.

Revenger: Wow no pressure or anything.

Dodger: What about us?

Scorm: You two will stay here and keep in contact with them. If anything happens to them you two will be the back up as will the other teams.

Dodger: Sounds easy.

Scorm: Until you find out who wants us dead none of you will graduate.

[Jail Cell At Red Base]

Gus: [Changes Color] All must die. Under the command of those who rule all. By their will all shall parish.

[Desert]

Tycoon: [Changes Color] All must die. Under the command of those who rule all. By their will all shall parish.

Engineers: [Look At Eachother]

[Gold Base]

[Outside]

Ben: [Changes Color] All must die. Under the command of those who rule all. By their will all shall parish.

[Green Base]

Black Sheep: [Changes Color] All must die. Under the command of those who rule all. By their will all shall parish.

[Unknown Area]

Unknown Soldier: That’s right. [Changes Color] All must die. Under the command of those who rule all. By their will all shall parish. And nothing will be left standing.

[END]

�" 2009