The Red, The Blue, and The FUgly Episode 6: It Just Got Worse

The Red, the Blue, and the FUgly

Written by: William Edward Self Jr.

Makers: William Edward Self Jr. & Alexander Paul LeBlanc

Red = Red Team

Blue = Blue Team

Gray = Unimportant Characters

Black = Important people.

{Name}= Computer

Training:

Episode 6: It Just Got Worse

Revenger: [Snoring]

Avenger: Revenger wake up.

Revenger: [Snorts] [Continues To Snore]

Avenger: Come on Revenger wake up. The tournament is in like five minutes.

Revenger: [Turns Sideways] In another five minutes mom.

Avenger: What? You don’t have a mother!

Revenger: Oh mom you know I hate it when you say that.

Avenger: What are you talking about? It’s me: Avenger.

Revenger: You and dad will miss me when you’re gone won’t you?

Avenger: Okay because I know you are awake now, I’ll play along. Oh yes Revenger we will miss you. Now come on!

Revenger: Where are we going?

Red Soldier: You have two minutes.

Avenger: Oh I don’t have time for this. [Runs Over and Hits Revenger]

Revenger: AH! [Falls To the Ground]

Avenger: Wake up!

Revenger: [Gets Up] What the hell was that for?

Avenger: Did you forget that we have a tournament to win today?

Revenger: No. What makes you think we will win?

Avenger: You know now that I realize who I just said that to. I feel real dumb. Let’s go.

Avenger & Revenger: [Runs Off]

Avenger: Hey where’d you learn to sleep standing up like that?

Revenger: Not sure. Feels like I’ve been doing it for years. Strange.

[Control Room]

Scorm: THERE YOU ARE. Where have you two been?

Avenger: Sorry sir but Sir Sleeps Funny over there slept in.

Revenger: When did we get a new guy named Sir Sleeps Funny?

Avenger & Scorm: [Looks At Revenger]

Revenger: I think we could be pretty cool friends with a name like that.

Avenger: Sure you aren’t having second thoughts of putting him in the tournament?

Scorm: Already tried to replace him.

Avenger: And?

Scorm: They wouldn’t let me. His name was already submitted.

Avenger: You could have passed someone else off as him.

Scorm: Damn didn’t think of that. Ah too late now. Alright you two. Go stand over on the panels. You will automatically be sent to the fighting grounds. Do your best to win. Don’t come back if you lose.

Avenger: Yes sir.

Revenger: Hey is this thing like going to be instant or will some body parts… [Gets Teleported]

Scorm: I honestly didn’t like where he was gong with that.

Gus: Red team must die! Red team must die!

Scorm: Alright Gus you need to give it a rest. You know if you weren’t retarded and human I’d mistake you for a explosive robot.

Gus: YOU WILL DIE FOOL! RED TEAM MUST DIE!

Scorm: Alright that’s enough! Take him and throw him in the jail cell in the basement!

Gus: YOU WILL ALL DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!

Red Soldiers: [Escorts Gus Away]

Scorm: Geez what’s got into him?

[Silent Guardian]

Avenger & Revenger: [Appear]

Avenger: Wow this is not what I expected this place to look like.

Revenger: AVENGER! I think that I’m paralyzed!

Avenger: Why?

Revenger: Because I can’t move!

Avenger: That’s because the rest of the players aren’t here.

Revenger: Well I was really looking forward to being paralyzed.

Avenger: Why?

Revenger: Milk the benefits. Everyone will be nice to me.

Avenger: Yeah I guess you’re right. Or someone will feel sorry for you and just kill you. POW! Right in your head. Then no more you.

Revenger: [Stares At Avenger] Yeah I don’t want to be paralyzed.

Avenger: I didn’t think so.

Revenger: So when will the others get here?

Avenger: Well I’d say in about the next five seconds.

Revenger: Oh yeah I say five hours.

Avenger: You want to bet on it.

Revenger: No doubt I’ll win. What will we bet?

Avenger: If I win you have to be the decoy in this tournament.

Revenger: DEAL!

[Five Seconds Pass]

[Avenger & Revenger Get Shot At]

Revenger: I knew that this was a bad idea! [Dodges Shots]

Avenger: I don’t see what you mean! I think that this was the best plan ever.

Revenger: I bet you would!

Avenger: Sure you want to make anymore bets!?

Revenger: [Stops Dodging]

[Everything Stops Moving]

Very funny.

[Everything Continues Moving]

[Other Side of Map]

Chain: Keep shooting at them Clipper!

Clipper: What? [Turns To Chain] I did not hear you.

Chain: I said..

[Sniper Shot Hits Clipper In the Head]

Clipper: I hate humans. [Falls Down]

Chain: Well that didn’t end like I expected.

[Another Side of Map]

Orange Soldier: Move it Bucket! Move your A*S!

Bucket: You got it dumbass! Hey where’d you get that name?

Dumbass: Long story!

Bucket: Who gives a f**k?

Dumbass: No joke!

[Some Other Side of Map]

Reginald: We shall win this Bill.

Bill: We would if you would do something aside from hide.

Reginald: I don’t hide you fool. I am scouting my foes.

Bill: Oh right like I will agree with that foolish excuse.

Reginald: What? What are you saying Bill?

Bill: I am disagreeing with you! Now get over here and shoot!

Reginald: Oh I’ll do more than shoot!

[Possibly the Last Side of the Map]

Avenger: So do you see anyone?

Revenger: No.

[Shot Fires]

[Falls Down]

Avenger: Well obviously someone saw you.

Revenger: [Runs Up] You know you could do something aside from watching me die.

Avenger: Where’s the fun in that?

Revenger: Well I don’t know. Maybe I want to watch you die.

[Large Explosion In Background]

[Bill Flies Across]

Reginald: [Walks Across] NO ONE DISAGREES WITH ME!

Avenger: Nah. That doesn’t sound to fun.

Revenger: Do you know what the score is?

Avenger: Yeah why?

Revenger: What is it?

Avenger: For us?

Revenger: Yeah.

Avenger: We have thirty-five out of seventy-five. Why?

Revenger: [Shoots Avenger]

Avenger: [Falls Down Dead]

Revenger: I’m happy now.

Avenger: [Runs Up] I’ll just take a wild guess that your gun misfired.

Revenger: No I shot you.

Avenger: WHY? What good reason did you have to shoot me?

Revenger: You were being a pain. You wouldn’t be the decoy.

Clipper: [Runs Up] [Listens In On Conversation]

Avenger: You lost a bet! You are suppose to hold up your end.

Revenger: My end? What end?

Avenger: You are so stupid! Your end of the bet!

Revenger: Yeah well when you said to be decoy I thought you meant the leader who gives orders.

Avenger: Well you were wrong!

Clipper: [Aims Weapon]

Revenger: You always think that I’m wrong!

Avenger: Well you know what?

Revenger: Yeah I do!

Avenger: yeah well…wait what?

Revenger: I do know.

Avenger: What do you know?

Revenger: That there is a blue guy about to shoot us.

Avenger & Revenger: [Turns To Face Clipper]

Avenger: Oh crap.

Revenger: All your fault.

Avenger: DUCK!

Clipper: [Fires Rocket]

Avenger & Revenger: [Ducks Under Rocket]

Revenger: [Pulls Out Sniper] [Fires At Clipper]

Clipper: [Falls Down]

Avenger & Revenger: [Stands Up]

Avenger: Wow Revenger you did real….

[Shot Kills Avenger]

[Falls To the Ground]

Revenger: WHAT?! The first time ever for you to compliment me and you decide to fall asleep. What a great soldier you will be.

Avenger: [Struggles To Speak]…Revenger….

Revenger: Yeah?

Avenger: Look out. [Dies]

Revenger: Look out? For what?

Reginald: [Goes To Hit Revenger]

Revenger: [Turns Around]

Reginald: [Like A Girl] AHHHHH!

Revenger: Wow you scared yourself.

Reginald: [Raises Weapon] Die.

Revenger: Why?

Reginald: What? What do you mean why?

Revenger: Why are we here? Why are we fighting?

Reginald: To win a tournament. To be the best that there is.

Revenger: And that is what you fight for? You fight to be the best? You’d rather to be the best than to be known for who you are? You don’t care who you are? You don’t care what could happen to you? Someone may be out there to come after you and kill you. You don’t care that you are here by force instead of by will? You ask yourself who you are but you can’t answer it because you don’t know. I was like that. But what happens when you know? Will you care about what you have to do to the ones that you love and care most about?

Reginald: Awe I do care. Hug? [Walks Toward Revenger]

Avenger: [Hits Reginald In Back]

Reginald: [Falls Down]

Avenger: What was that about?

Revenger: I don’t know. Some Gold team thing.

Avenger: Well come on the score is tied for first. We all have seventy-three. Two more and we win.

Revenger: No way! Come on!

Avenger & Revenger: [Run Up Walk Way]

[All Teams Run Out At Once]

Reginald: [Attaches Bucket With Grenade]

Bill: [Attaches Avenger With Grenade]

Bucket: [Attaches Reginald With Grenade]

Dumbass: [Attaches Clipper With Grenade]

Avenger: [Attaches Dumbass With Grenade]

Revenger: [Attaches Chain With Grenade]

Chain: [Attaches Bill With Grenade]

Clipper: [ Attaches Revenger With Grenade]

[All Grenades Explode At Once]

[Simulation Ends]

[Two Hours Later]

Scorm: Well I hope you two are happy. You lost.

Revenger: Lost? How?

Avenger: Yeah it was a tie.

Scorm: Well who cares about ties?

[Blue Base]

Chain: I care!

Connors: Well a tie isn’t winning.

Chain: Well it isn’t losing.

Connors: There is no going back.

Clipper: That seems very…

[Gold Base]

Bill: Unlikely to be fair! Is there not one thing else to be done about it?

Lion Heart: According to everyone else? No there is nothing that we can do.

Reginald: Well we would have won if he had not disagreed with me. To disagree with me is just plain out…

[Orange Base]

Bucket: S****y! We won!

Sputnik: There’s not one f*****g thing that I can or would do about it!

Dumbass: No good f*****g, no good son of a b***h, retarded a*s dumbshit rules.

Sputnik: Watch your f*****g mouth you s****y dumbass!

[Red Base]

Scorm: Now considering that none of the teams won, we were given orders to put you all to a test. There are four teams and four in each that are waiting to graduate. So what we will have is a challenge.

Avenger: Challenge?

Revenger: How boring.

Scorm: Now as you know in each base there is a flag that looks just like all the others, the only difference is color. I want all four of you to go after a flag. Two will stay and guard our flag as will two of theirs. The other two are to go and retrieve the flag chosen for us to grab.

Revenger: You know if it were me up there I would be telling all of us that we were now Spartans. I’d say just go have fun and get drunk.

Avenger: [Turns To Face Revenger] If that were you up there none of us would be here.

Revenger: Why is that?

Avenger: Because no one would listen to you talk.

Revenger: Ha ha. Well one day you will wish you had listened to me.

Avenger: Yeah somehow I doubt that will ever happen.

Scorm: I need all of you to pay close attention. State your names to each other and as of now I can have nothing more to do with you until the first flag has reached a base. Also you will not be using real bullets. You will all use tranquilizer bullets. Once the bullet hit you will automatically fall to the ground and remain there until five hours has pasted. More bullets mean a quicker chance of falling asleep. Good luck gentlemen.

Revenger: Not you too. Why is everyone gay in this base?

Avenger: [Turns To Red Soldier To the Left] My name is Avenger.

Red Soldier: People call me Butch. If you want to know what my profession is just ask.

Avenger: Ok what is your profession?

Butch: I blow things up. I’m the best to guard so I will stay behind and guard the flag.

Avenger: Ok.

Revenger: Hey Papa’! I thought you said that there were four of us. I only see three. Where’s the other guy?

Avenger: Yeah sir. Where is our fourth soldier.

Scorm: He will be here soon. Ah here he is now.

Dodger: [Walks Up]

Avenger: I thought Revenger killed you!

Dodger: Not quite. How’s it going Revenger? It’s nice to see you again.

Revenger: Oh boy.

[END]