The Red, The Blue, and the FUgly Episode 2- A Way Out

The Red, the Blue, and the FUgly

Written by: William Edward Self Jr.

Makers: William Edward Self Jr. & Alexander Paul LeBlanc

Red = Red Team

Blue = Blue Team

Gray = Unimportant Characters

Black = Important people.

{Name}= Computer

Training:

Episode 2: A Way Out

[Training Simulator]

[Gun Shots Sound]

Revenger: You plan on giving up yet?

Avenger: Why? You’re the one out of bullets.

Revenger: [Looks at Gun] No I’m not!

Avenger: Are you sure? You have a pistol right?

Revenger: Yeah!

Avenger: Well you shot off eight shots. I think that that means that you are out of shots.

Revenger: Well I could have more clips!

Avenger: Yes you could…but you don’t do you?

Revenger: How is it that you know what I have and what I don’t have? Are you cheating?

Avenger: You’re talking to someone who mastered the weapon simulations. I know my weapons.

Revenger: Yeah but these are my weapons! Plus I mastered that simulation too. Don’t think you’re better than me.

Avenger: Well I think that I know a way that I can get you out here.

Revenger: Bullshit! Ain’t nothing going to get me out of this spot!

Avenger: Are you sure?

Revenger: Damn near positive!

Avenger: Okay. [Walks Over and Picks Up Shotgun] [Walks Over to the Other Side of Revenger’s Cover] [Clears Throat] Oh no! I think that I can’t find him. Guess I’ll have to look somewhere else. I bet he’s over by the launch pad. Better go and check. [Remains Quiet]

[A Few Moments Pass By]

Revenger: Hey you still out there!?

Avenger: [Remains Silent]

Revenger: Damn! Simulation of Patience. [Breaths in and Out]

Avenger: [Remains Silent]

Revenger: Screw the patience! [Stands Up]

Avenger: [C***s Shotgun]

Revenger: Ahhh shi….

Avenger: [Pulls Trigger]

Revenger: [Falls to the Ground]

Avenger: [Walks Over to Revenger’s Body] [Stands Still Looking At the Dead Body]

Revenger: [Runs Up] [Looks At His Body] How many times is that?

Avenger: One hundred seventeen.

Revenger: Yeah well I let you win all those times.

Avenger: Yeah right.

Revenger: Best five out of seven.

Avenger: I already beat you seven times. I’ve already beaten you twenty times.

Revenger: Twenty first time is the charm.

Avenger: Twenty first? Thought it was the third time, then the fifth, then the eighth, and then the fifteenth time was the charm.

Revenger: They were, but you killed me a lot.

Avenger: And your point is?

Revenger: Well you might be able to let me win every now and again.

Avenger: I think not. How can we win the tournament when I have a wingman like you.

[Meanwhile]

[Outside Simulation]

[Red Team Control Room]

Booker: So these are the two that the Red team are sending.

Coward: Now lets kill them!

Booker: A little too much. They might spot us and alert everyone else. That would ruin the bosses plan.

Coward: Then what do you think should be done?

Booker: I have an idea. [Walks Over to Computer] [Pushes Button] [Clears Throat] Attention you two.

Revenger: What now! I was about to wi…

Avenger: [Shoots Revenger]

Revenger: No fair! Interference!

Avenger: Who is this?

Booker: Uh… That is highly classified. I’m from the Head of Red Command.

Avenger: Really? I’ve always wanted to speak with someone from Head of Red Command. I have so many questions!

Revenger: [Looks At Avenger]

Booker: [Lets Go of Button] What idiots!

Coward: Let me try. [Pushes Button] We want you to listen carefully.

Avenger: Who is this?

Revenger: The voice in the sky. Even I knew that.

Avenger: how stupid does that sound to you.

Revenger: It doesn’t.

Avenger: Well it should.

Coward: I am the assistant of the man that is the Head of Red Command.

Avenger: Okay?

Booker: Yes now listen. I have spoken to your leader…

Revenger: Oh wow that lame line.

Avenger: Shh!

Booker: Go and patrol.

Avenger: Where?

Booker: Where what?

Avenger: Where should we patrol?

Booker: Uh? Oh!

Coward: Far away.

Booker: Yeah far away

Avenger: Which direction?

Booker: Which direction what?

Avenger: Which direction do you want us to go far away?

Coward: EAST!

Booker: NO WEST!

Revenger: Well I’m not going with what they say. Let’s go North.

Booker & Coward: NORTH!

Revenger: You don’t have to agree with me just to make me feel better even though I wish someone else would.

Avenger: Shut up. So you want us to go North?

Booker: Yeah. But finish your game first.

Avenger: Oh we just finished it.

Booker: Then start a new one and then go.

Avenger: Whatev…

Revenger: [Shoots Avenger] Score one for the boys back home!

Avenger: Cheater!

Revenger: AHH!

Avenger: [Hits Revenger] Die!

[Control Room]

Booker: Let’s get out of here.

Coward: No joke.

Booker & Coward: [Walks Toward Doorway]

Booker: S**t someone’s coming. Hide.

Coward: I say we kill him.

Booker: No! Hide!

Coward: Where?

Booker: Stand over there!

Mornman: [Walks In Control Room] [Looks At Coward and Then At Booker] What the hell are you two doing in blue armor?

Booker: Huh? What are you talking about?

Mornman: You two are in blue armor.

Coward: What the hell! How’d that happen.

Booker: Ah S**t! How’d this crap happen?

Mornman: You mean you didn’t know you were wearing blue armor?

Booker: Are you kidding! I mean I knew he was wearing blue armor but out of kindness I didn’t say anything. Thought it was the new look for him.

Coward: I’m colorblind.

Mornman: Well you two better get out of that armor before someone thinks you are blue guys.

Booker: We’ll get right to that.

Coward: Yeah right away.

Booker & Coward: [Runs Out of Control Room]

Mornman: What a bunch of dumbasses. Can’t be worse than Revenger.

[2 Hours Later]

[Somewhere That’s Nowhere]

Revenger: Are we there yet? We’ve walked for two hours and it’s getting dark.

Avenger: Yeah in like another seven hours.

Revenger: That soon? Wow it’s getting late.

Avenger: You heard the Head of the Red Command and the Assistant of the Head of the Red Command, we have to go North far away. By far away I think that they meant FAR AWAY!

Revenger: Geez! No need to yell at me. It was just a question. Plus where are we?

Avenger: I don’t know. Look over there. I see a base. Maybe there’s someone there that can tell us where we are.

Revenger: Hey Avenger.

Avenger: Not now.

Revenger: But this is real important.

Avenger: Not now!

Revenger: Fine then I’ll just sit here while they take you.

Avenger: What?

Revenger: What color is the sky?

Avenger: Blue?

Revenger: What about the dirt?

Avenger: Brown. What are you getting at?

Revenger: And the color of the grass?

Avenger: Green. Why are you asking?

Revenger: Then tell me what team do you think is surrounding us?

Avenger: [Turns Around] What? Oh crap.

Green soldier: Do yah make a move. I’ll bet yah are awn the Gold team’s side aren’t yah?

Avenger: I don’t know what you are talking about.

Revenger: Hey Avenger, these guys are like the Lucky Charms guy. They’re magically delicious! Or was it they’re great!?

Green Soldier: Is ur friend lost in his head?

Avenger: Yes.

Revenger: I tend to go in my mind some times. I feel safe in there.

Green Soldier: Who’s team are yah on?

Avenger: Well considering we are red, I think that means we are on the Red team.

Green Soldier: Well that’s good. I wasn’t ready to kill me an innocent man. Me name’s Shamus. I’m the general here at this base.

Avenger: My name is Avenger. And this is Revenger.

Revenger: How goes it?

Shamus: How goes what?

Revenger: Life for you.

Shamus: Bad.

Avenger: Why is that?

Shamus: Oh that blasted Gold team over there. They been taking all our supplies. And I’m for sure that they are the ones who blew up our control room.

Avenger: That’s what we heard. That you guys were withdrawing from the tournament because of an explosion.

Shamus: There was no point if we couldn’t get in contact with our men in there.

Avenger: Is there anything that we can do?

Revenger: Thought we were told to get lost when they pointed those guns at us.

Avenger: Shut up.

Shamus: Best pardon that. I couldn’t risk my men’s safety. Never know who the Gold team is recruiting.

Avenger: Recruiting?

Shamus: The Gold team and the Orange team got together to take us out. Heard they took over the Light Brown team.

Avenger: What happened to the Brown team?

Shamus: The whole team got packed up and left. No one has had any word from them since the last tournament. They just disappeared.

Revenger: So you have just been fighting back and forth with the Gold team?

Everyone: [Looks At Revenger]

Revenger: Why is it when I ask a smart question everyone looks at me like I’m the idiot?

Avenger: Because you just surprise everyone by asking a smart question.

Shamus: And to answer your question: no we haven’t actually been fighting with them, well yes but verbally. We haven’t actually engaged in warfare.

Gold Soldier: You green freaks can go back to the trees where you belong. Go back to making your cookies, I actually like them but I don’t anymore! Go home!

Avenger: Hey Gold! Can I talk to you?

Gold Soldier: ME!? You dare to ask to speak with Lion Heart? Never! I would never speak to someone that looks like the inside of my nose!

Revenger: Hairy?

Lion Heart: NO! Red. I have a cold! [Sneezes] Go home or we’re going to kill you all! [Runs Off]

Shamus: That’s all they ever do. They have yet to anything else.

Revenger: So I’m just curious, are you Irish or something?

Everyone: [Looks at Revenger]

Revenger: I know, shut up! Geez can’t even ask a question.

Avenger: So what are you proposing that we do?

Shamus: Well would you mind to help us get back at the Gold team with a little bit of their own medicine?

Avenger: Sounds like a plan. By the way, could you tell us where we are?

Shamus: We call this Paradise Falls.

Revenger: [Walks Past View of Waterfall] I’ve seen better. This has nothing on Mount Rushmore.

Avenger: What?

Revenger: It doesn’t.

Shamus: You know we have a good doctor here if you’d like to get him checked on.

Avenger: I don’t think it will help.

All: [Walk Toward Green Base]

[Meanwhile]

[Other Side of Hill]

[Lion Heart Runs Up to the Rest of the Gold Team]

Lion Heart: Alright men liven up! The Green team just recruited a new color. Reginald man the guns.

Reginald: Horris what is he blabbering about?

Horris: Something about the Green team recruiting tea?

Lion Heart: NO! The Red team has joined the Green team to kill us.

Reginald: I think that you are absolutely wrong.

Horris: Well I think that you are wrong.

Reginald: [Starts Beating Horris to Death] [Backs Up and Throws a Grenade] Never disagree with me!

Horris: Well put.

Gold Soldier: Good show

Lion Heart: Well done. Anyway we need to man the guns and kill those scum.

Reginald: Then Bentley grab the turret and let’s move out. Give them the element of surprise!

Bentley: Going to go do some disagreeing! [Rips Turret Off the Stand]

Lion Heart: Let’s do this. Wait chaps! Why not let them make the first move.

Horris: What say you?

Lion Heart: Let the foes make their move then let us spring our trap.

Reginald: I think that is a swell idea.

Bentley: Chaotic call!

Horris: I don’t like it at all. What about you Bill?

Bill: Swell plan!

Horris: You are all morons!

Reginald: [Throws a Grenade] [Gets On Top of Horris and Hits His Face] Any other disgracers?

Lion Heart: None. Then we wait for our foes.

[Back At Blue Base]

[Control Room]

Connors: You did what? Ha ha! You fooled those stupid idiots.

Booker: Great plan right?

Connors: Great? It’s Stupendous!

Chain: Do they know that the other two left?

Coward: Not at all. Not a clue.

Connors: With the tournament only two days away we may be able to pull this off without any problems at all.

Clipper: You called sir?

Connors: Yeah everyone else leave the room.

[All Leave the Room Except Clipper and Connors]

Connors: [Turns around] I need you to scratch down in an awkward place.

Clipper: They didn’t make me for this. [Bends Down]

[Paradise Falls]

Shamus: You know I think we might be able to pull this off.

Avenger: Well we are this far without any sign of any of them.

Revenger: I feel a little cold.

Avenger: Who cares. Now I think that we can help you get things right around here and be back for the tournament in time.

Shamus: Good.

Revenger: What about the part where we get captured and have to break out of prison?

Shamus & Avenger: WHAT? [Turns around]

Lion Heart: You blokes aren’t to bright are you? You will be coming with us. Hope you like bars!

Revenger: I don’t!

Everyone: [Looks At Revenger]

Revenger: I guess you guys don’t care. [END]