Turn your Relationship into a Partnership

Looking for a partner?

A good relationship is hard to create. It first takes two people wanting a partner for eternity. Nothing good comes without hard work. The whole point is to gain a partner. Every person is flawed. All of us. So after the honeymoon phase, when life sets in, S**t hits the fan. Stop holding each other to those silly rules. Accept what the other person is willing to put in, because your in love with them. If you need more from them then invest. Plant the seed by, you first giving more. Draw them closer with your love. Not your judgment. They have a higher power for that. Seeds take time to grow into plants. What seeds are you planting?

Stay out of her private space! You only go there when your welcome to. When she does invite you, you learn. Not control her. Control you. You will come closer together when you begin to respect her individuality. That flirting your so concerned about may be a simple social skill she has. To change it takes work. Hell you may even find value in that skill, if you ever achieve a partnership. If your not working then your bitching. Your together by choice.

In my studies of the Holy Bible, I found long ago a philosophy that I practice. The wife of a man is like the Bow to an Archer, and his children are his arrows. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full. If your the Archer then your fights are her fights. Your problems are hers. Pay attention to how you influence her. Shes drawing from you. Have compassion. Nurture her. Wouldn't the Archer care for his bow?

I will go to hell and back for her. Then get off your a*s and be her hero. Your already her sounding board. You know what she needs. You may not know the root of the problem but with a little work, one problem at a time, you will get to that root. Your wife is your flower. She needs gentle, loving  care.

 Even roses have thorns. Your thumb might get pricked. But don't damage those thorns. They serve another purpose. They defend her beauty. Her personality. Feed her with sunshine (Joy) and water (your passion). Plant her in a healthy relationship. Where you do not control her but accept her. Take a leading role in the influence in her life. Weeds sprout all the time. The wind blows seeds into your garden often. You cant stop that. The wind also brings a change in the weather. You need seasons to grow. As she gets stronger the flower opens with fuller pedals. The scent is overwhelming and the bees are attracted. Now you need those thorns.

Your passion is why she is with you in the first place. That's why shes in love with you. When you connected, your souls met. She saw you for who you are, without all the chains. You stepped out of your life, out of your comfort zone. You broke your rules. You've been taught that that's how you score a woman. You've learned to put on a mask of  Confidence. Hence the Honeymoon phase.  

The love that was born, between the two of you, freed you from all your chains. It sustained you. You expressed your feelings. The love will wash over you and ease the pain of this life. Its mind blowing. We are social creatures. Our brain needs that affection, for us to grow into the next season of our lives. Take that breath to discover more about each other. Don't judge. We are all flawed. While looking at her flaws, understand first, some of them are only perceived. Check yourself. 

The problems that are legitimate, Man, she already knows that. She's probably already working on that. But she doesn't trust your care yet. Its not your job yet,  to help her. She has a higher power, whose been filling that spot for you. Respect her. When she trusts your influence in her life she will ask for your help. Your answer should be, giving her your hand. When you walk together those chains fall off. Your love for her taught you that when your souls met.

The Bible teaches for the woman to revere her husband as she does God and for the husband to love the wife as Christ loves the church. The Apostle Paul, taught us, in most of the New Testament, to be Christ like. The Old Testament teaches us that, God created us in his image. God created us in his image because he didn't want to be alone anymore. Were just like him. We're his children. He's our example. Our father. Stand up and act like a God in her life. What does he do for her? Answers her prayers. Listens to her hearts cry. Gives her hope. Agape love. Read Galations 5:22  Love, Joy, Peace, Long suffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness and Temperance.  If you want that reverence then you need to be deserving of it. Or you wont get it. When you have it you need to remember shes pulling from your higher power now. That's why the Bible teaches to be equally yoked before you marry.

Temperance is probably the hardest part for me. When in a conflict the most effective piece of wisdom I've come across is the following passage,  "The aim of self-defense, suggested Ueshiba, must be to neutralize the aggression of the attacker, and avoid the conflict. The best defense is one where the victim is protected, as well as the attacker is respected and not injured if possible. Under Ahimsa and Aikido, there are no enemies, and appropriate self-defense focuses on neutralizing the immaturity, assumptions and aggressive strivings of the attacker" found at  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahimsa#Buddhism.  You better learn to defend yourself. Even the Disciple, Peter carried a sword.

 Once you've defended yourself. You'll quickly be able to discern which weed has started to strangle your flower. 

See when you first, going back to the flower analogy, address any problem, you noticed a weed and started to untangle it. She has thorns. Of coarse your gonna get poked. Since you didn't hurt her, shes going to realize that your helping. Your her Gardener, after all. She will begin to assist you. Now you can start working as partners.