Hillbilly Abduction

One night while I was sleeping

The bed began to shake

I knew right then without a doubt

That I was wide awake

Here they come once again 

To take me for a ride

I saw their flying saucer

It was much too late to hide

So I put on my old blue jeans

And headed for the door

When I saw this giant beam of light

That sucked me off the floor

I knew exactly what they wanted

And no they didn't use a probe

They didn't suck my brains out

Or even ask me to disrobe

They were looking for a hillbilly 

To teach them a thing or two

Like how to skin a possum

And how to make rattlesnake stew

Them aliens were some friendly folk

They said they liked the way I talked

They told me that was the reason

That I was the one they stalked

They asked me about beef jerky

And how to tan a hide

I showed them my old coon dog

As they watched me beam with pride

They said they really liked my truck

And wanted to take it for a spin

So I stuck that thing in four-wheel drive

And you should have seen them grin

When the night was finally over

I thought I heard them say

We'll be coming back real soon

As I watched them fly away

I only had one problem

As I sat there on the ground

Them aliens done up and stole

My very best blue tick hound

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