'Twas The Night Before Christmas (Hillbilly Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the hills
The kinfolk were drinkin' and tending their stills

The longjohns were hung by the chimney with care
No stockings were found, just underwear

The children were nestled so high in their bunks
Their quilts made of skins from rabbits and skunks

Granny with her false teeth and gun on her knee
Was waiting for Santa as she sat by the tree

From out of the barn there arose such a noise
We thought it was Grandpa drinkin' with the boys

But what to my wandering eye should appear
It was just cousin Cleatus in mama's brassiere

And then from the rooftop we heard it at last
Like the sound of thunder or a shot gun blast

We have Christmas dinner, it's finally here
Granny kidnapped Santa while we shot his deer

Venison all covered with onions for stew
And even old Santa enjoyed some too

His belly was full when he walked out the door
But he couldn't resist when we offered him more

Well that's the story of our Christmas here
Merry Christmas to all 'til the same time next year

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

This is wonderful! As a gal from the hills and hollers of WV, I can relate to this!! I have one, "Redneck Eggnog Brew" that is similar, but this one gets a big round of knee slappin' from me!!
I love it!!

[C.C. Marx]

Rotfl that just made my day, wishing you a wonderful hillbilly christmas

[K-mo]

haha this is great!!! I love it!!!

[Rusty]

Fun but I think maybe Santa should at least "git a nip of the old' sour mash!"

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Hahahahahahaha! I love it!

[Bruce Chandler]

LMFAO

[The Pain Stays Fresh]

This is hilarious! I love it!

[Summer'sBreeze]

This is hillarious!
A fantastic read.
Great job. :)

I found this poem very humorous. I liek how you are able to write some poems very humorous and others with such passion. When I read this it actually reminded me of the comedian Jeff Dunham and one of his acts. Finally, I thought this had great flow and you had a really good conclusion at the end. Great job.