The Christmas Eve Caper

A Funny Poem

I woke up on Christmas Eve

It was late, in the middle of the night

When I saw him under the Christmas tree

He give me such a terrible fright

I thought it must be a cat burglar

Who was trying to steal from me

And I had a fifty-two inch color television

Under that Christmas tree

So I ran to the kitchen as fast as I could

To try to find me a kinife

But I just couldn't find one anywhere

Remind me to have a talk with my wife

Anyway, I grabbed up the toaster behind the bread

That was sitting on the cabinet shelf

I snuck up behind him, like a ninja in sneakers

And was planning on killing that elf

Of course I didn't know it, at the time it occurred

That the fat man, was old Santa Claus

It wouldn't have mattered to me at all

Cause he touched my remote with his paws

I almost had him, when I heard this sound

That was coming from my very own kitchen

It was, Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen

Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen

Those eight tiny reindeer had attacked me

I had hoofprints all over my head

And that's when the fat man in the big red suit

Turned around to me and said

"I'm just gonna borrow your color tv,

So I can watch the football game"

"The one in my workshop is only nineteen inches,

And it's really too small and lame"

Before I could tell him to forget it buddy

I heard the sound of him slamming my door

Those eight bully reindeer had wrapped me in tinsel

And left me helpless on the livingroom floor

Well, that was the last time I saw him

And my tv was never returned

So make sure you hide your color tv's

Take it from someone who's learned