Owned and torn

Running is not the answer, running is fear, running is weak, I can hear my father drilling me. He was a tough man, but a good one. I take a step back away from sylvan. His eyes are full of worry and even loss, but what catches me is the guilt. I see guilt where there is no reason for it, well maybe there is a reason. To run is to scrape against the grain for me.

    “ No i’m not running whatever it is we can face it , right?”

He looks at me doubt in his eyes over the guilt. He knows what is looking for us and he knows what it means for me to run.

    “ We don't have time to think about it rose, We need to go. We need to hide. She could catch up with us any minute. We have to go” She? is that my answer. I don’t think about is because he has grabbed my arm and is dragging me toward the city. Why don’t we just cross into the dead world? I try to cross but i can't. Its because he is touching me, i can't cross unless he want me too. So i am completely at his mercy now. I have no choice but to listen to him.My instincts scream at me that this is wrong, that i have controll but logic is whisperng to me that what my brain is screaming is a lie.

My arms are pumping and my heart is squeezing itself agonizingly, telling me that i need to stop, but i keep running, my lungs burn and my head spins, but i keep running, all because sylvan runs too. I am under his control a lot more than he knows. He can hurt me more than he knows. He owns me now, he owns the part of me that has been empty for so long, but the part that is so important, He owns my Heart.

I don’t run for me any more. I run for him because i know that if i stop he will too and then whoever is chasing us will have him. I am his slave. I am forced to think for his safety. Is this love? or is it something greater? What do i know? Nothing, i have never loved before. I have never be under someone else's mercy.

    “ rose, we are safe now, for a little while rest.” My legs rejoice at the command and stop. They burn and i resist the urge to cry out. We are in an ally , its cold and  damp and the air here is bitter. My lungs are dry and feel like someone dumped liquid nitrogen down them. I gasp and cough for breath. I feel his hand on my back and warmth spreads slowly across my spine and shoulders my chest calms and i start to cry. I don't cry because of pain. well that may be part of it, but not the whole story. I cry because i feel weak and insuperior, I feel like someone has stripped all of my skin off