The Dark side of the Sun

I sit on my bed and count the stars

That are peeling off my roof

Their ember glow start to fade away

The darkness the blinding proof.

 

I sit and I listen with bated breath

As the footsteps pass my door

‘Bang bang’ goes a gun, ‘doof doof’ goes a body

And silence there is no more.

 

Lights turn on and a siren sounds

‘Police, open up!’ they cry

But there are shadows moving, across the hall

I don’t move; I’m not ready to die.

 

The crash of a door, the crash of a window

Noise and light everywhere

They open my door, those blue collared men

And pick me up with tender care.

 

“It’s all right” they say “we’ve got you now”

But my stars are fading away

They glow down on us all, with their last waning strength

As we meet the light of day.

 

Reviews

[Francesca]

Wow that was so powerful! A lot of suspense and it flowed very well. There's just one typo I spotted. You wrote "Their ember glow start to fade away" but it should be starts. And you might want to put a comma in the next line. "The darkness, the blinding proof." This is a really great poem!

[Jeremy Baker]

An interesting title. An unusal topic, too, but quite an effective narrative for all that. Well written.