Closing the Heart and saying Good-Bye

facing the torments of peoples games

              Closing the Heart and Saying Good-Bye

 

It was hard enough to open my heart.

To give you a chance.

To give you attention.

To convince my brain it was going to be alright.

I knew it was a gamble.

I took a leap of faith I would not get burned again.

I opened my heart to the wonders of life that might be obtained.

To be happy.

To enjoy life once more with someone by my side.

To go on wild adventures and explore the world and all the glory it has to offer.

I opened my heart to the possibilities of life beyond the dull it has become.

Affairs are fun, but they do not last, when you are old and grey.

Going out has its moments, to share with the wind, whispering tears of joy.

Friends, they come and go, intertwined in the threads of time, I watch fade before my eyes.

Family lasts forever, but what do they have to say?

I opened my heart to you.

Life bringing us together as if written before time in the deep sky blue.

The connection growing strong as we feel each other’s vibe.

The universe pushing us closer to each other in one’s mind.

It was hard enough to open my heart once again.

I wished I knew the answer to all that just doesn’t seem right.

How do I get to know you if you stay out of sight?

You say you want me, but how is that right?

A connection is more than a body, more than a mind, but if there is no communication, what is our plight?

I have opened my heart and now that I have, will you make love to me, or will you make me want to fight?

I long to know you, to understand where you are from, where you are going, where you just might fit me into your life.

If I try and find out, will I like what is there, the long days and extended nights of your life?

I could burst your bubble on what you think of me, that would just be a breeze.

I could tell you exactly how you made me feel when you thought I was crazy, just for being different, for being unique, for being me.

I could tell you how you made me feel when you finally realized I was sane, but was it too late?

You snap your fingers and expect me to come running, all dressed up and ready to go.

I opened my heart, as hard as it was, I still am not sure it was right.

Happy I was being emotionless and cold.

Happy I was being carefree.

Happy I was being alone.

I give you time you do not deserve, but that is not on you, that is just how I forgive in this messed up world.

Second chances are rare, as I usually walk away.

No regrets, no hurt feelings, no anger at all, as I move forward on my way.

I’ve walked away so many times now I have lost count, just to have you turn me around.

I opened my heart with the realization I may have to close my heart and say good-bye to your very soul.

Author's Note

I'm not a Poet lol

Reviews

[Lisasview]

I read the entire piece you wrote..
Not really a poem... right??... but rather words that need to be said.. possibly from a journal?..
There are quite a few good lines here that could actually become a great poem if moved into stanzas and lines..
I have been down the same road you write about...
Lisa, now in Spain

[Lane Craver]

Yes.. more of a vent. Sometime it's the only way I can truly understand what I'm going through, get a very clear picture of what needs to happen next. Thanks for reading the whole thing, and the review :)

[Lisasview]

I completely understand the need to vent and the power it has when writing down my feelings..So I get it.
I have loads of journals... I still have the one i wrote in 1958 when I was 10 years olds...I saved everything.
My writing has changed quite about from my earlier days and my venting.
So now I write it down and then go over it to see if it could actually be a poem.
Thank you for your honesty..I really appreciate it.
Lisa, now in Spain