"I can't..."

Last night I helped Alina and Angel home. Angel first, then Alina. I made sure Alina was safe. The next day passed by quickly. Next thing I knew, I was standing beside Alina where we were the night before, alone. In our place. Standign i nthe field together we could see the full moon shining brightly down upon the both of us, we could see the forest in the distance, we could hear the night creatures awakening. Everything was at peace. I could hear Alina's heartbeat pounding in her chest. I could even hear her..blood..rushing through her veins, pumped by her heart. The most perfect sound I've ever heard in my existence...I felt at peace. But tonight was the night I would tell Alina more about my kind, more about where we come from, more about...myself. We sat down in the thin grass below us. I sprawled out, my back on the grass, looking up into the night sky at the beautiful stars and moon. Alina laying right beside me, looking at me. I looked at her, and smiled. She gave me a half smile back. Then, I spoke calmly.

"You know my family, right? Joshua, Kaden, Emily, Amelia, Derrick, everyone."

"Yes?" she said, looking back at me, curiosity dancing through her eyes.

"Their vampires as well." I said plainly, with no emotion whatsoever.

Her eyes widened. I wanted to laugh at that moment, but at the same time there was a sense of sadness. Like I had done something wrong.

"...Woah." she laughed, "All of y'all?"

"Yup. Do you know what we eat?" I asked, not smiling anymore.

"Well, yeah...but...that doesn't matter...I can..I can look past it. For you." she said with all the courage she had. She kept my gaze.

"Don't worry...We don't drink...human blood. We drink the blood of animals. Joshua thought of it a LONG time ago. Hes the most experienced out of all of us." I said.

"...So wait. Your not tempted by my blood at ALL?!" she said, surprised.

I tried to soothe my throat by thinking about something else other than her blood. It was the last thing I wanted to think about right now. My throat began to ache and hurt...it began to burn insanely, closing in it felt like. It felt like someone was scratching at my throat, or like I had swallowed a thousand needles. I pushed the thought away.

"....Y-yes, actually. Your blood is the most tempting out of anyone's blood I've ever met. I..I have no idea on earth why...but it's just that way. I can't think about it for long..." I admitted, ashamed. I turned my head away from her, not wanting to look her in the eyes at that moment.

"...Asher..." she said, sitting up. I sat up, too, still avoiding her gaze.

"Yes, Alina?" I asked.

"It's okay. Don't worry." she said, soothingly. Then my eyes met her eyes.

And at that second I knew things weren't okay...I remembered I haven't fed in a few days...No! No! Don't think aobut it and you'll be fine Asher! Don't think about it!...But I wouldn't be fine...If I didn't get the blood my muscles would begin to ache, I would go on a frenzy, searching for ANYTHING to drink, I wouldn't be able to control myself...

"Hey, Asher." she began saying, "Your eyes are different tonight? Their more...dark? Black almost. Why?" she asked curiously. WHY DID THIS WOMAN HAVE TO BE SO FREAKIN' CURIOUS?! She KNOWS I can't lie to her...

"...Because...I haven't fed in awhile..." I admitted, trying NOT to think about it. I turned away from her once again. Then, I felt the lightning enter my body, my muscles, every part of my body. It was a wonderful feeling. She was touching the back of my neck with her fingertips. Then I looked at her. Both of my eyesbrows furrowed at her.

What was she doing? I thought to myself.

She looked...controlled. Masked. Like she was hiding her emotions from me. She guided my head towards her shoulder...No...wait...her...neck...

"NO!" I said, authority raging through the word. I wanted to pull back, but every muscle in my body was screaming, "...yes...", while my mind screamed "NO!" loud enough for her to hear me I'm sure.

"Don't be scared, Asher...I trust you." she told me, simply, with confidence and faith.

"I can't..." I told her.

"Asher...you're starved. I am okay with it. Please." she reassured me. When she said please, I began to whine. I wanted to cry...I felt like I was going to cry, if I could. My lips touched her neck, but I would not open my mouth. Instead, I gently kissed her neck over and over again, begging her not to, pleading with her to stop. Her scent was sooo strong tonight, I wanted to crawl over and die. So tempting. My hands were on her shoulders, my lips on her neck. I opened my mouth, then heard her gasp. Like she was in pain. And then I closed my mouth, again. And then wrapped her in my arms, tightly. Never wanting to let go of her.

"Why didn't you..?" she began to ask.

"You shouldn't do that to me. It's not right. I will go feed after I take you home, just please...Never. Offer. Me. Your. Blood. Promise me. I could've killed you. You may trust me. But I don't trust MYSELF..." I told her as nicely as I could, and as calmly. I was so scared myself that I was shaking while I was holding her.

"I promise..." she told me, a few tears fell from her cheek, onto my t-shirt.

I closed my eyes...begging to fall into it's darkness forever than to have to go through what almost just happened here tonight...