Coffee & Airplanes

Yes, I did. I existed and I breathed. I sometimes failed to find the right words to say because they are no more than words, words of a lifetime for a lifetime of words. Perhaps I was meant to find you here though it was myself I’d been looking for. You’re right behind me and you know the answer to that question so don’t ask, just leave, keep going, that’s what you know how to do, you know how to leave.

But the time has come and I’ll do it for me, I’ll do it for the fraction of a second when I tried my dress on because you were coming, I’ll do it for every coffee I had with you in my mind, I’ll do it for the soul that still believes in you, I’ll do it because I believe in you. I’ll do it though the world will get bigger afterwards and I’ll get lost again but I know I’ll somehow find my way back here, to this notebook, to myself.

I’m flying away today and it’s too late, I don’t know who’ll come back but I know it won’t be the same person who’s packing now. I’m not scared of life anymore, I’m not scared of you, I’m not scared of myself but I don’t know if I’ll be writing about you anymore but I know for sure that I’ll keep writing. 

Coffee under a lamp surrounded by strangers and airplanes, they say we’ll fly away, they say we’ll float above the clouds that many have painted, they say we’ll look down on earth and wonder how a place this small can make you feel this small, they say we’ll see the true size of everything we left and everything we held on to because from above you’re you and earth is earth.

I should do this more often, take a plane and leave, you have to leave so you can come back, fly everyday, land by night, leave gravity behind, I’ll be back but you don’t come back you when you’ve flown above seas, when you’re closer to the secret, closer to existence, closer to every cloud you gazed at when you were hardly catching a breath, seeking a way out. It’s like you were meant to come here, like you belong in an airport watching strangers pass by, meet them for the first and last time and wish them a life they can write about every night with stars above and maybe stars inside.

Why won’t you feel home with a suitcase and everything you need right here in your soul because home is inside, home is coffee in an airplane and every color they spoke about rising with the sun. Home is staying up all night because you don’t want to miss this, because when you’re up there there are always the odds that you’ll encounter yourself numerously, in people’s eyes, in a star that makes you lucky you got a window-seat today.

A stranger, “You’re different” he says. “You’re not that beautiful but there’s something about you and I don’t know what it is. You’re at peace inside.”

I’ll never see him again. But those dreamy eyes they shall meet my own in a dream not far from today, they shall paint for my existence, they shall sing me songs they haven’t heard before, they shall close just to see me in the back of their mind with a daisy in my hair and a sunset like the one I’m witnessing today, It reminds me of you, that stranger I’ll be meeting for coffee for the rest of my life, we’ll be up in the air, breathing life like I breathe it today, plain life with nothing on it and you’ll hold my coffee as I look for myself and I’ll make your coffee just plain with nothing on it.

I’m not scared of you, I’m not scared of you as you change into yourself, I’m not scared of the me who needs you, I’m not scared of our sunset because we shall rise again, because I know you’re out there writing back in another dimension and I’ll see you tonight as our dreams meet, meet me tonight by that star above, bring me a daisy, bring me life in a box, bring me yourself, bring me your scent, bring me myself as I see it through your eyes, let me breathe the air that passes you by. We’ll be glowing in the dark you and I.  We’ll be sharing a notebook and you’ll be completing my phrases, I’ll save you room right here between the lines. I know words that are composed up here will keep floating till they find you, until then you’ll see me in every dreamy eye and I’ll see you in every star above and every time I’m up here I’ll be closer to you, I’ll be closer to a stranger.