Love, Rejected

I was recently in a relationship with a woman who I gave my heart and soul too... But because of her damaged past she was incapable to return the love she so desired to feel and give.

Love, Rejected

by Lalli

 

 

I desire what I can never have

Upon this acceptance, 

It felt like the dull end of a thousand chopsticks piercing my heart into swiss cheese

But anti-freeze was all I bled

My heart, once colder than Alaskan Glaciers

Met face to face with global warming

The caps, kept melting away

Never exposed waters reflected the radiance of her beauty

 

And now I need to escape the misery in my head

The touch of her fingertips transformed flesh into putty

Even without her presence my thoughts still take form in her palm

I fear solidity again

 

The intimacy of her affection melded souls into unison

Or at least that’s how I felt

Love drugged hallucinations I suppose

As the intangible came with physical presence

Because I swear she made love to my soul

 

She said I was out of a movie,

Too good to be true, the Ken to every Barbie’s dream

And yet, I’m standing here alone

Wondering how she could love me and still be able to let go

Unsettling fault lines send tremors of heartache from my core

Rain water floods filled with the pain of rejection from the drops of my tears

And my cheeks, are exhausted from trying to sandbag dam this overflow

Beyond containment

Even the rescuers had to let go

 

I’m sorry if I sound sad

But when your heart is being ripped out of your chest

You realize there is no Indiana Jones

And your optimism takes residence in the temple of doom

I’m just sayin my feet feel like cement blocks and my next step doesn’t seem to be coming anytime soon

 

Like the mafia’s next murder victim I’m sinkin’ to the bottom of the lake

The only light that I see is the moon through the glass ceiling of my fresh water grave

The only air to breathe is expiring in my lungs

I am only human, no gills to survive

But I realize my need to adapt this fractured heart into being whole again

By tapping into the mental strength built through the workout of a tough childhood

By controlling my emotions through conscious thought

I can change this perception

This feeling of my love dying in a rejected womb

I can give birth to a renewed heart, mind, and soul

Nurturing the possibilities of when I do finally try to love again,

 

Instead of being jaded

I will use this experience as a lesson

To never give up

because I have faith that one day,

My angel

My soul mate will spread their arms like comforting wings

And I will feel the warmth and security of their hug in return

Because true love, can never let go

Will never let go

And rejection will never be the cause of our pain