Stardust

A refreshing unique idea on how to portray love... and what love is..

 

Stardust

 

By Lalli

 

Humans gaze at the stars

But do the stars gaze back?

And if they do

What does a star see?!

Above us with their birds eye view

Using our sky

As a magnifying glass amplifying actions of our daily tasks

Centuries pass

As they continually watch the deceiving ways people manipulate

The wars, pain, lies, and hate

They can’t be blamed for wanting to look away

 

So imagine that a star does not have pride

But takes pleasure in seeing happiness within our lives

 

Now try to envision

Watching this bloodshed masquerade

The Ozone, is the screen

And mother earth, is the newest reality sitcom

Action brings adrenaline

Comedy brings smiles

Death brings tears

And complacency, brings boredom

But love…

Love brings the stimulation of all emotions

The strength of the ocean currents can not compete

Outer Space can not escape its waves

As its beauty disperses to the furthest depths of the universe

It can not be contained as our hearts burst out our ribcage

Love

Is unconditional, unpredictable, and down right unbearable

But it’s undeniably

Beautiful

A necessity to every person’s life

Longing for its affection and warmth

Since romance makes the soul dance

Not to be confused

With the lust generated from a lap dance

With our thoughts clouded by what our hormones think

Under such circumstances true love can not be found

Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth

And a woman seducing for money

Lacks that truth in her roots

Love

Grows

It needs to be nurtured and fed

Love will never come prematurely

By trying to force it down our throats

Wait patiently and it will blossom

Only to blossom again, and again

Protect it from being trampled and crushed persevering through the seasons

Trust…with hope

That the reciprocation of your love will be shown

So love thy self, love thy neighbor, and love thy spouse

Let your love shine brighter than the brightest star

Because if love could be bottled up

It’d be more valuable

Than star dust

Author's Note

no i dont normally write love poems.. but i was inspired today, and well this is not your typical love poem.. thanx to "M@" for his insightful review by calling it how he sees it... i feel the revised version is much better

Reviews

[M@]

I dig the ideas your playing with here. First, the idea that love is something that isn't given, but is external from everyone, and cultivated like a seed; a great deviation on the idea that love is a verb (my own personal romantic favorite view on the subject). Second, that love is powerful enough to affect the stars around us. Thirdly, that if we as a human race step back from our "sitcom" lives, much as the stars can give us a 3rd person perspective on things, we'd realize the importance of things we don't normally notice or think about. Nice play of ideas, since you manage to wrap the readers head around quite a few in only a short piece.

If you'd like to advertise this piece as a "unique love poem", you're going to have to define unique. Unique in the sense that you present either new ideas or old ideas in a new fashion; then yes. Unique in the imagry you provide concerning love itself; then no. Everything up to where you begin to explicate love is truly unique in that you've taken the reader outside of their heads and shown them something they wouldn't think about normally. However, once you start describing love, the imagary gets preachy (a word I'm not a fan of using, and most likely isn't the right word here, but at the moment, I can't think of another to replace it). Later imagry of love in the last few lines of the poem comes directly from the Bible itself. Readers know that love is patient, kind, not boastful, not prideful, valuable, beautiful, different than hormones, protecting, perserving, trusting, hopeful, unconditional, etc. Don't just tell the reader what they know already, show it to them in a way they've never thought otherwise (hell, the same ideas could be presented just in a different way).

The ideas you're knocking around in this piece are marvelous and marvelously simplistic, so much so that if the reader just doesn't get it they're blind as a bat. You've done an amazing job in past pieces of showing rather than telling, so I'm just wondering why that part of this poem is suddenly absent.

Keep it up, I dig reading your work as it's always unique, somehow, someway.

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

I was really surprised with this one because even as much as I hate people setting up to get a certain type of poem from me, I admittedly expected something different especially when I read the title. I thought it was gonna be a warped out, wordplay driven piece. But I got something very creative and thought-provoking and original.

I love the premise of the stars watching us with all these atmospheric "stage props" used for their entertainment. I love the questions you asked about love and also about their perceptions of us.

"Love
Is unconditional, unpredictable, and down right unbearable
But it's undeniably
Beautiful
A necessity to every person's life
Longing for its affection and warmth
Since romance makes the soul dance
Not to be confused
With the lust generated from a lap dance
With our thoughts clouded by what our hormones think
Under such circumstances true love can not be found
Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
And a woman seducing for money
Lacks that truth in her roots"

Dope Lalli! See? Writing about love and all that bad! You're an incredible talent and I want to see where you go next!.....

[Sarah]

I loved this! It's so beautiful & sweet - the idea of looking down upon the world, and noticing the love and how valuable it is, particularly in a world where hate and lust seem to be the center of most emotions. Great job!

[Jofer Serapio]

wow... This is an unbelievably amazing write. I have a poem with the same title as this one but it falls before your piece. This is simply amazing. I love the way the poetry flows and it would seem that this isn't anything ordinary. The message is also clear and beautifully drawn. Great job!

[Angelic Darkness]

I love this. It is beautiful, powerful, and so true to the words you write.
AD

[Poeticpiers]

I enjoyed your writing as you say not your usual love poetry but a sincere message you convey in a well written manner. What does it matter if I see it as prose and you see it as poetry. The message remains as cogent either way ivor

[Beka]

Lovely. I didn't get to read the origional.
But I must say I do love this very much.

[whispersoftly]

How did QVC get in there? lol

Not your typical love poem at all....a unique poem from a unique person's heart....

Good read ;-)

This is very good. I love the way you wrote about stars gazing back at us. This is well written. Great choice of words. Great job!

[vanishing]

And mother earth, is the newest reality sitcom"

Choice wording lalli-this is splendid
and captures glittering aspects of what
true love is.. in light of the title
your words paint a masterful portrait
on the readers mind.
Thanks