I Fell For My Best Friend

I really like what you have here so far. I found the characters interesting, and I didn't notice any major tense shifts. There was a good amount of detail that I really liked, like noticing how the Adam's apple moved while they talked, and remembering what the bully-dude looked like as he wondered what his friend was going to say about the bully.

I see this is a couple of months old--have you worked on this since then? It doesn't read like a first draft--this was good, and I enjoyed it! Going to check your profile to see if you have anything more up related to this--if not, I hope that with summer break coming up you have the time to work more on this. I really found in interesting and I want to know what else happens! If you happen to post anything else, feel free to send me a read request.

Posted 15 Years Ago

I really like what you have here so far. I found the characters interesting, and I didn't notice any major tense shifts. There was a good amount of detail that I really liked, like noticing how the Adam's apple moved while they talked, and remembering what the bully-dude looked like as he wondered what his friend was going to say about the bully.

I see this is a couple of months old--have you worked on this since then? It doesn't read like a first draft--this was good, and I enjoyed it! Going to check your profile to see if you have anything more up related to this--if not, I hope that with summer break coming up you have the time to work more on this. I really found in interesting and I want to know what else happens! If you happen to post anything else, feel free to send me a read request.

Posted 15 Years Ago

i think u should added more... this has me hooked and i really want to find out what happens great work

Posted 15 Years Ago

wow this was good is it a true story? i hate straight guys, i'm bi and i know what it's like to fall for a straight guy but not my best friend.

Posted 15 Years Ago

nah... screw tenses. this is so cool. i like the ending very much.
keep writing

O.J.

Posted 15 Years Ago