Decisions Decisions

Chapter 3

As I walk up the steps to the house I am in utter shock, this man I know nothing about, this man who I have known for hardly a moment is asking me to commit, to be with him and I am dumb founded. I can suddenly feel what I am assuming as confusion. I take a moment and assess the situation. So far I know he is in the military, he was an army brat, and we have that in common. Is that enough to make a relationship work. After being with John for the last two years I remember the work put into that, I don’t think by any chance there will be the ability to commit to someone I have known for all of five minutes…

I suddenly find myself in my room staring at my laptop, I should email him and ask him if he is crazy. Maybe he will be honest and say yes, or perhaps give me an explanation worth listening too. So I pop up and grab my laptop and in a moment’s notice I am writing

 

To Derek Phelps

From Valery Gail

Subject Are you crazy or is it just me?

                Derek, tonight was interesting, but are you crazy? You have just met me and already asking for another difficult task in wanting me to be with you. Why is there the rush, why are you so determined to have me as you say? It’s a bit strange and scary and personally I do not buy it.

 

Sincerely,

Valery Gail

I hit send and await the reply hoping it is something worth hearing. I can not help but believe I am crazy to consider such an offer and by a man I do not know. I guess it could work out in some Cinderella fairy tale world but this is not the world we live in! BING! The computer sounds of an email and I hesitate to open it and see what he could possibly have to tell me.

 

To Valery Gail

From Derek Phelps

Subject Answers

                Valery,

In all my life I have never taken chances. I took my first chance the day I joined the army, I took the second chance when I asked you to be with me. Fast can be scary and it can also be a rush! It can make things more passionate and more memorable than anything you have ever imagined. No one said that it was an easy choice to make. I however know that a girl who can open to a complete stranger can also commit to a relationship that can possibly change her life.  Your life. I want to spend life with someone who wakes up in the morning with a purpose. I will never do anything to doubt that we cannot be together. We have time before I leave. Let’s use it to learn one another and when the end of that time comes go from there.

Sincerely.

Derek Phelps

PVT D Phelps

United States Army

 

I finish reading his email and I am suddenly struck by enlightenment. I had always herd my mother say that being with a man who chose a life to protect others they tend to risk it all. However I am not sure if I am the one to follow him and risk it for myself. To be involved with a man who risks his life is an honor and it is just a frightening. I have seen it take its toll on my family. I saw what it did to my mom losing my dad, and I do not think I could put down and give so much. Would it be possible?

I sneak downstairs it is late and I am hungry, mom has a plate left for me on the counter, green beans and pork chops it scarf it down before heading back to my room. I quietly dress in my pajama shorts and a comfortable tank top and crawl into bed. Laying in the dark so many thoughts cross my mind. The one that lingered was the question of if I could be with someone I hardly know. Learn them on a day by day basis and be happy. It sounds impossible and before I know it I am asleep.

Suddenly I am awaken by a light coming on down the hall it’s from my mother’s room I gather my wits and walk down the hall and see her sitting there, she has been crying and there is a box of dad’s photos and memorabilia. I should be used to this since she does it so often but every time I crawl in bed next to her and hold her tight. I know she misses him I do too. We still are trying to move on and it is hard. How could I do this, again the thoughts of what Derek ask slips back in my mind and as I am holding my mom and think I know I cannot do this. It’s not even an option.

After an hour or so passes I have mom back to sleep, she looks free when she sleeps and I clean up all of dad’s things and place them in the trunk at the foot of her bed. I cover her with a blanket and turn off the lights as I slip back into my room I have the compulsion to email Derek that I cannot accept his offer. So I sit down to write

To Derek Phelps

From Valery Gail

Subject my answer

Derek

As warm as your offer is I cannot accept. I have my mother to look after and school to finish I am a senior and I wish to graduate and go off to college and following a man in the military around the world and being worried for my life is not something I have ever planned. I am happy to remain a friend I just cannot be more...

 

Sincerely

Valery Gail

I hit send and wander back into my bed. I feel a bit of relief but something is telling me I was hasty with my decision making.

 

I wake up and it is nearly noon I had slept all morning. I did not realize how tired I must have been. I boot up my laptop and check to see if there is a reply and there is nothing. I can only hope he is not avoiding me and scamper down for breakfast, well Lunch. Mom has made my favorite for lunch pizza rolls, my dad and I used to eat them all the time, it’s almost like a ritual and I know she made them because of last night she always makes them when she has had one of her breakdowns the night before.

 

“Darling.”, my mother says to me, “I am so sorry. “

I look at her and I know she means it and I nod and smile, I know it is hard on her, and I know she is trying but I can’t feel but hopeless. I wish I could make things easier. I finish my lunch and get dressed it is a cold Saturday and I decide to wear my black yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt with my favorite socks, mom went out for the day so it’s just me. Suddenly in the silence I feel that bit of uncertainty creep up into my thoughts and I am again thinking of Derek!