Forgiveness

BPOV

Demetri drives back to the house as Jane cradles me in her arms. I really hate feeling like this. Jane was stroking my hair, and I was trying to keep my real feelings from seeping through the connection that Demetri and I shared, but I could feel his. He was trying to tone down his anger as not to drain my powers again, but it wasn't working as well as he would've hoped.
 

"Bella, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I had no idea." Demetri apologized for the umpteenth time when we got to the house.
 

"It's fine Demetri. Really." I say with a small smile. It isn't real, like the one I gave him at the Cullen's house. Edward knew it hadn't been real and wondered if Demetri could tell the same. Well, he couldn't Cullen. He couldn't.
 

****
 

"Bella, what are you wearing to school today?" Jane asked me.
 

"Um...plaid mini and a white button up shirt with black heels. Not the same ones I wore yesterday. Why?"
 

"Because I was thinking that since we're twins, we should dress alike today."
 

"Cool."
 

Jane and I got dressed while Demetri went hunting for the morning. He didn't want to kill the people in our class because apparently, when he'd somehow tapped into my powers, it had used up his strength and his eyes were coal black. I hated it when he was thirsty. Go to school without me, I'll meet you guys there. I heard Demetri think.
 

I wasn't about to question him as to why he wanted us to leave, I was just ready to talk to Jane because today was going to be a big step for me. Jane and I got dressed and hopped into my car.
 

"Where's Demetri?" She asked.
 

"He said to go without him. But I'm glad. We need to talk."
 

"Sure. About what?"
 

"I...I'm going to forgive them."
 

Jane smiled. "I knew you were. They really do love you Bella."
 

"I'm forgiving them, not going all buddy buddy." I said sharply.
 

"I know! Calm down. When are you gonna do it?" She asked.
 

"I'm thinking about getting Mr. Tanka to give us a group project. If I can do that, we're going to be in the same group as them, and then it's going to happen."
 

"What if he gets mad?"
 

"I'm not seeing him come to school at all today Jane. He's really bummed out about this." I sighed. I hated looking too far into the future because some things I didn't want to know ahead of time.
 

"I could tell from the way he was looking last night. When we were at the Cullens, he didn't come anywhere near you until you woke up even though we were all hovering over you."
 

"I saw it in his mind last night. The pain didn't completley go away until he left this morning."
 

"He was still mad?"
 

"Yeah. He really hated the fact that he couldn't do anything to help me and that he was the one hurting me. I was trying to calm him down, and Jasper was too, but it just wouldn't work." I sighed. This was going to be a weird day.
 

We pulled up in the parking lot at the same time as the Cullens. I'm really going to have to block Alice's visions again. This was going to get annoying after a while. "Ready?" Jane asked me. Instead of saying something, I nodded and put on a brave face. I wasn't sure how to go about this, because I hadn't looked into the future to find out what I was going to do before it happened. Again, I like some things to sneak up on me....sometimes.
 

We all got out of the car and Cull...Edward had a small smile on his face. I could guess that he saw into the future. D****t! I didn't want him to know all of that. Well, might as well shake things up a bit. Alice's face went blank and I flung my hand in her direction, taking away her visions for the time being. I couldn't have her seeing what I was planning to do. I took a deep breath, squared my shoulders, and took a step forward, then another, then another, until I was face to face with them. I silently cleared my throat and said, "Will you all go hunting with me after school?"
 

It was the only thing I could think of that would help us to bond. I couldn't find any other way. Did I just say bond? I really didn't mean that. I don't really want to 'bond' with them, do I? I shook my head. No, of course I didn't. I knew what I was going to say and I was going to get this over with.
 

"Why not just go now? It's supposed to be sunny later on and why take any chances?" Edward said.
 

"Fine." I sighed. "We can go now." Jane, who had been beside me the whole time, smiled and got back in the car. "Four hundred miles outside of Seattle has a great pick of mountain lions and a few bears. Just follow me."
 

"You won't regret this. I promise." She said when I slid in the passenger seat.
 

"I sure as hell hope not Jane." I sighed again.
 

Fifteen minutes later, we pulled up at the spot I'd found earlier in the day when Demetri and Jane were out hunting. Demetri was a vegetarian for the most part, but he still needed human blood to kill the fire in his throat. Not really kill, when you think about it, but more like control the fire that's in his throat.
 

"I think it would be best if we talked after we hunted." I said, knowing that they could hear me.
 

We all got out of our cars and went to the first thing we saw. Edward and I crouched lowly and sprang at the same time, both going for the largest mountain lion we saw. Before we reached the lion, our bodies crashed into each other, causing a loud CRASH in the middle of the air.
 

As we both fell to the ground in hysterics, all eyes were on us. We skidded back some ten feet and finally came to a stop in opposite directions. I tried to get up, but I was laughing too hard to concentrate on placing my feet under me to walk. Edward had finally found the will to stand up and was coming towards me, still laughing. I let him help me off the ground and threw my arms around his shoulders, still laughing, like we were old buddies.
 

That thought alone made me sober up and stand straight. Edward was still laughing but I was just looking at him. The way his shoulders shook when he laugh captivated me, those sparkling teeth when he smiled, his deep, sexy voice as the sound came from his throat.
 

I shook my head free of the thoughts I was having about Edward. This boy had broken my human heart....my human heart, I can't believe this. I shouldn't hold onto this grudge that was created sixty years ago. It isn't right for me to do this. And holding this grudge attached me to him. It held some feelings and left me emotionally tied to Edward Cullen. And that wasn't a place I wanted to be again.
 

I withdrew my arm from Edward and took a step back. "I...I forgive you." I turned to everyone else who had stopped hunting to watch us. "All of you. I can no longer hold the grudge against you because when you hold resentment towards another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
 

No one said anything for a minute, then Emmett stepped up and gave me a big bear hug. "I've missed you so much Bella!" He sniffed like he was crying, which we all knew was impossible. "I'm so sorry!"
 

"I'm sorry too Bella." Alice was the next to give me a hug.
 

Jasper tried to keep his lust down when he hugged me and apologized. Rosalie, I'm not ready to start using nicknames yet, stayed behind everyone. "Oh Rose, don't be such a b***h." Alice said.
 

"Yeah Rosie. We got Bella back, now get over here and hug her." Emmett added.
 

Rosalie took a step forward until we were face to face. "I don't expect you to apologize for your behavior, but I forgive you anyway." I said, then reluctantly hugged her, somewhat smiling when she hugged back.
 

Edward was the last to come and hug me. "Bella, I'm so sorry for what I've done to you. I cannot make up for it, but I promise you that I will try." He hugged me and I sighed, leaning into the hug and hugging back. It felt nice to be in his arms again. His arms were tight and loving around my waist. I slid my arms up and wrapped them around his neck, pressing my body against his.
 

I wonder if his kisses were the same from when I was human. Of course they're not. His kisses would be better now that he wouldn't have to worry about hurting me. Now, his kisses could be as hot and passionate as he wanted them to be. We could make out, then that would lead to us making love. It would be wonderful, lasting well into the morning. My head snapped up and I brought myself out of my thoughts. My chest was heaving and I was still pressed up against Edward.
 

My arms jerked back as if Edward has stung me and I took a large step back and folded my hands behind me. "Well, I think it's time to get back to school. We've missed first and half of second period. If we go back, we can still be in class for the last fifteen minutes of second period. Let's go." I walked swiftly to the car and waited on Jane to get in so we could get back to school. My hands were slightly shaking in my lap. I couldn't believe that my mind had gone that far into the fantasies I had as a human with Edward.
 

Jane finally got in the car. "What was that all about?" She asked.
 

I put a sound barrier around the car as she drove. "I was thinking about what it would be like if I had sex with Edward. Just being in his arms like that was wonderful. It was a dream. He never held me like that when I was human because he was afraid that he would hurt me, but I...he...it was something different now. It was....right somehow."
 

Jane didn't say anything for a while. "You know, I never really hated them."
 

"I know you didn't. You did what you thought would make me happy. And I really appreciate that. But you know we can't say anything to Demetri about this. It's gonna be hard trying to keep these thoughts away from him, especially if he touches me."
 

"I know. Do you...do you think that you still love Edward?"
 

"Hell no! That can never happen! He left me...and he hurt me. All that pain. It was horrible." I really didn't know how I felt about Edward at that particular point in time, I just knew that feeling anything at all for him would be bad in the long run.