Mutual Motherhood

Why polygamy? How polygamy? Who? What? When? Where? How, why any of this?

Girls. You have your best friends. The girls you know will be there on every important day of your life, the kind of companionship that few men have amongst one another. You and your "girls" do everything together, shopping, vacation, talking endlessly you tell them everything. You probably have at least one best friend who will be at the hospital the day your first child is born, and she's the best friend you'll raise kids with, scheduling play dates.

Men. You have your best friends. You guys think it's weird how much girls talk to each other about stuff, sex.. etc. You hang out, maybe drink a bit here and there. But you certainly don't have the incredible bond between one another that women share in friendships.

The way that women relate with one another, how they are.. It is this relationship that is the foundation for the polygamist household. What the woman share is what can make polygamy work. Polygamy takes the relationship women have with one another: cooking, cleaning, playdates, best friendship, all of it.. and turns it into mutual motherhood. Being Mothers: together. Sure, you and your best friend be mom's together you might be thinking. Polygamy takes Mutual Motherhood, sharing motherhood mutually, to a whole new level. These women have the same husband, their children are by the same man. These girls are best friends, and their children are siblings. Together, they raise them: share the lifestyle, the man, their husband. They cook, they clean, they be all that girls can be as best friends with that amazing bond and they share being mothers with one another. It's called Mutual Motherhood, and the best way I've heard it put from a plural sister wife was quite simply "Girls need girls!"

Women connect, and bond, on a level that leaves most men completely befuddled. It is when this true beautiful bond forms on it's most powerful level that Jealousy disappears, and hence, I consider it to be the foundation a polygamist household stands on. These women love each other so, so much: they want to share their lives together. They want to be mothers together, they want to share their man. They want to care for him together, and turn doing just that into an activity they can participate in with one another.

When Mutual Motherhood does not exist, jealousy ensues, problems arise, and you have a household looking a lot like the Hendricksons in HBO's "Big Love." I consider that TV show to be an example of how polygamy can fail and what a polygamist household without mutual motherhood looks like.

Mutual motherhood is about cooperation between the woman, love, sharing, comfort, listening, and truly embracing the joy each day brings with one another.

Without this love, this bond existing between the women.. the polygamist household crashes and crumbles. Because of this and how I have seen it with my own eyes, it is my believe that the wives should choose the other wives. In fact, I have seen very few homes where the men marched around picking wives. Yes, it's important that the man have a relationship, a connection with the wife. However, I think that friendship and bond has to exist more so between the women and from there, they can introduce prospective sisterwife to the husband to see where it goes. It has been this method I have witnessed the most success with in my time watching plural families.

Jealousy? Women laying awake night after night knowing their husband is with another woman?

I once brought this up to a plural wife and asked her what it was like when she first married into plural marriage on the jealousy level. Her response I believe is the most crisp, clear example of pure mutual motherhood I've ever experienced. She explained that the nights 'laying awake' were spent falling asleep with the warm, comforting peace that the two people she cared about most in her life: her husband and her sisterwife, were having their time together and strengthening their relationship with each other. Hence strengthening all she was living for, her family, her children, her relationship with both her husband and her sisterwife. She saw those nights 'laying awake' as nights of knowing that while her sisterwife was in bed with her husband, their polygamist life, their household was becoming stronger and that love was growing. She saw it so much as a benefit, loved her sisterwife so much, she told me she often wanted them to have more nights together than she had with him.

She went on to tell me that she entered polygamy because she believed it to be true for her, her light, her path that God laid before her. She approached jealousy in her heart and mind as something to shut out: she believed it was the Devil's way of trying to lead her from what had spoken to her heart as Truth.

This woman and her sisterwife to the day have been together with their husband thirty years due to their incredible ability to make Mutual Motherhood work and their amazing bond. Together they have raised over 10 children.

They are my mothers.

Author's Note

All tactful discussion encouraged between reviewers. Feel free to disagree or agree with my presented opinions at anytime.
Love,
Lady Plurality