Stay Or Leave;

The scene in Return to Cranford when Peggy Bell is involved in a train crash.

I sighed softly, leaning back in my seat and shifting my gaze out of the small, square window of the locomotive. With an unintentional flinch as it lurched, I felt my eyes close in solomn mental terror. I listened as the gears ground, wrenching into motion with obnoxiously loud metalic rumbling. I heard the steam from the chimney on the steam engine, felt the whistle pierce my ears. This was it.. I was leaving Cranford.

There was a lead ball of guilt held heavy in my gut, and to further distract myself from it I brought up my hand to brush away my hair from my face before casting my eyes downward to rest my gaze within my lap. I fiddled idly with the fabric of my dress, setting my jaw and letting my mind wander at his leisure.

Instantly, his face appeared.

I mentally cursed myself, feeling as my throat clenched and my eyes began to water. Could not I be more imaginitive than that? Why couldn't I think of nothing else but him?

 

My dark-haired brother across from me was staring. I could feel his dirty eyes piercing through my flesh and into my soul as he observed me. It took everything in me not to look up and confront him. He was searching for my heart.. Searching for bravery within me so that he could pick it out and contort it into what he believed to be the only type of bravery one whom is female could possibly possess.

Forced bravery.

An exceedingly idiotic outlook from the male prespective.

To avoid bitterness, I closed my eyes once more and thought of him. His familiar face brought comfort of mentality to me, and I exhaled very longly yet softly from my nostrils, ascending my gaze again and holding it once more out the window. I watched as the trees and the like blended together into a mass of rather breath-taking green and yellow colours.

Had he yet recieved the news? How did he take it? Is he looking for me? Oh please come, William.. Come and take me away so that they have no choice but to keep me.

Save me, William. Help me. My love, my darling, my Lord.

 

The lurch of the train startled me out of my thoughts, causing a gasp from between my lips. The whistle screamed; and like the scene in a nightmare, the train-car I sat within began to move, tilting until it was on half it's wheels on the track.

My thoughts swirled as my stomach did a somersault in my gut. Reality became nothing of the sort, and I believe I had let out a light strangled scream as I felt myself be thrown against the left, crashing against a window and hearing it crack under my light weight. Could this be really happening? Was the train crashing?

Throughout my inquiring thoughts, the train did crash. The car was tipping until it met with the field to the left of it, and I was again being thrown to the side. A large, heavy crash came with this, along with the sound of screeching metal. The sound of shattering glass rang in my mind, and a short stab of pain became real in my hand, along with a wet, sticky feeling in my palm. Blood.. Had the glass cut my hand?

Everything, suddenly, was very quiet.. Very dark. I closed my eyes, wondering quite honestly if this would kill me. If the pain in my hand had come to me so mubly, where else upon me was damaged? Was my neck broken? My head cut? And my legs; what of them?

I lied there quite submissively, feeling myself slip in and out of consciousness, feeling my head swim with shock. I felt my hand grow weightful with the blood that must have been flowing from it, though the sting of the cut had disappeared somewhere in the shock flooding through my body and keeping me inanimate. Dots flashed against my closed lids, casting odd luminations through the blackness I was now encased in. I could feel the broken glass I was sprawled over; it felt like bones, as if I were lying upon bits and pieces of the other people whom had been on the locomotive with me.

 

There was a sudden voice that pierced through my foggy consciousness. A distressed, screaming male voice. The sound of footsteps against wood slowly began to fade into my hearing to accomany this voice; yet somehow, this voice was very familiar. I knew this voice.

William?

I had meant to verbally speak it, and though I swore I had, I had merely only thought it.

It was William's voice. I heard it like the comforting yet disturbing scream of an angel that loomed above me. He was shouting something.. It willed me to reach it. Open your eyes, Peggy. Open your eyes.

I opened my eyes slowly, though my vision was tainted with an odd blur.  I stirred, feeling my body become stiffly and achingly animate. Another loud shout from William jerked me awake, and I flinched, feeling warmth again enter my body as if I had just been revived from the coldness of death's very grip. I looked up, turning onto my back from my side and raising my hand against the light.

It was him.. My William. He had pulled back the door of the Train car and was crouching above me, the light behind him casting shadows upon his profile but likewise giving him an odd, holy luminescence. He looked like an angel.

"Peggy Bell, take my hand!"

His voice crashed rather violently in it's clarity within my ears, and I flinched lightly once I understood what was being said.

Give him your hand.. My conscience whispered tenderly to me. Will yourself to him.

And that I did. I shifted, forcing myself up off my side before feeling myself again crash against the broken shards of wood and glass. I winced; listened to him speaking more softly to me now, more encouragingly.
"Quickly, darling.. Come on, reach for me!"

I did. I bit down forcefully upon my lip, feeling pain sting me and bring water into my eyes. I stretched myself upward and reached, feeling my arm tremble with my effort. His own arm was stretched outward to me, his fingers spread as if he were trying to make them stretch as well closer to me. I waved my hand, trying to catch his own but he was too far up from me.. I couldn't reach.

"Peggy Bell, come on! Reach! Come, my love." He whispered. I reached once more, forcing myself upward slightly. We waved our hands ocne before my hand at last caught upon his own. It was warm and powerful, and took my so strongly I knew he would not let go. I used the rest of my strength to hold onto him, and I did quite strongly as he lifted he upward, taking hold of my arm and pulling me into his arms.

"Are you alright?" He inquired softly, though his voice held haste, almost as if still worried something would separate us.

I nodded numbly in response to this, "My hand.." I mumbled, exposing to him my bleeding palm. He glanced at it, grimacing quickly though there was still haste in his gaze. He was distracted.
"I'm going to ease you to the ground as best I can,"

 

Everything again had begun to grow distant to me. The sounds, the screams, the sudden bursts of eerie silence. The only thing I could pay attention to, if at all, was him. The warmth and stength of his arms underneath my limp weight -- one arm underneath the bend of my knees and the other underneath my back.

I was trembling. I could feel the slippery, sticky crimson blood on my hand from the gash in my palm. I believe I may have whispered his name, but he was too focused -- bless his soul -- on getting me to safety, he didn't take notice to my whimper.

I let my head fall lightly against his chest, feeling the cloth of his silk vest and cotton coat against my cheek as I let my eyes fall closed. I knew quite well that I was safe.. Now that I was not leaving him, growing farther and farther away at 30 miles per hour. As I felt myself unconsciously nuzzle my nose into his clothing, I felt myself being lowered into the grass, on my feet and out of his hold. My eyes shot open in panic, as I glanced around I noticed he had only gotten me down from the train car I had been trapped within -- instinctively, I lached onto his jacket so that he could not leave me.

"Where are you going?" I breathed the words disbelievingly from my mouth as he sat me in the grass. I was oblivious to my surroundings -- on what exactly what was going on about me. The pain in my hand had gone numb, and I was worried only about him.

A crashing noise from the falen steam engine behind me startled me back into consciousness, and I craned my neck quickly to see the toppled train cars -- just as quickly, I looked back at him.

"What is it you plan to--"

"You needn't worry about me.. You're safe now, Peggy, just stay here! I have to--"

"William please don't leave me," I pleaded softly, desperately.
"You must make haste, away from the wreckage. I will come and find you, but for now I must help the others."

He let go of my arms as my hand fell limp from his coat. My head whirled, my thoughts mixed until they remained no more but jumbled sounds in my mind. Before I could grab him again, he was darting away from me. His long legs carrying him farther away as he headed towards the other toppled train cars with heroics on his mind. I felt myself tremble with overwhelming fear and confusion. I couldn't make sense of myself, of my situation; of my fiance running away from where he had left me in the field, only feet away from the crashed locomotive.

I gasped softly, stumbling forward and falling upon my knees into the grass. Abandonment began to settle into me, and I threw my gaze around, catching sight then of my brother. He charged up to me, yelling his words in haste as he swiped the change purse from where it had been cast to the grass. A wave of doubt washed over me.. He would always be a criminal, it seemed.

"Edward!" I called, and he cast his gaze upon me. I saw then he had no intention of helping me, nor William. "Edward, what are you doing?! Edward!" My heart sank in my chest, and I watched with numb desperation as he ran off with the money, stumbling once but running nonetheless. I called his name once more before the engine of the train exploded before my eyes; the last I saw of my brother was his figure, a shadow in the light of the explosion.

He did not survive.

 

I wanted to cry. To do.. Something. To show some sort of emotion in the act of mourning for my brother, but somehow I could not.

Everything once mroe began to blur together for me. Actions happened so fast that I hadn't the time to acknowledge them. Everything blendid together into a mixture of numb actions and emotionless blurs. William was hurt, yet even still with my heart heavy like lead in my chest I was calm through my thickened worry. They hauled me into a cart with him after they sprawled him within it, and the sight of his blood soaked shirt -- a bone peeked through his flesh, signalling his arm had been broken at the elbow sometime during the explosion. I kept myself close to him, without care that his blood would stain the skirt of my dress, and I cradled his head with my arm. It'll be okay, William.. You'll survive this; I know you will. You shan't give up on me. I gazed down upon him, setting my jaw and gently stroking my fingertips agaist his dirt-covered cheek. I was on the verge of tears now, feeling my heart clench and then feeling my throat join it. I ran my fingers quickly through a soft, golden, curled lock of his mane and closed my eyes.

Part of me wished this was all a dream.. That part became strong, and suddenly I willed it all to be a dream. I squeezed my eyes shut tight until it was almost painful, and I lingered that way for an uncomfortable amount of time before I shot them open, expecting to be in my bed at home.

I was never that lucky.

Still I lied in the cart, next to my fiance whom had been unfairly claimed to unconsciousness. Twas not a nightmare, but a nightmare of reality.

No. It was not a nightmare; It would not be unless William parished from this. I had strong faith William would survive. He would survive. Our love would keep him alive.. I knew he wouldn't just leave me. He wouldn't abandon me.

Once more I gazed down upon him; though this time my eyes did not hold sorrow, rather then held a motherly worry. Determination.

Look what we've survived.

Author's Note

The third piece I've created whilst sitting in my English class.
[Based off a scene in Return to Cranford]