Cynical Stigmata

being marked with negativity what next?

Why do I sit and listen to the serenade 
inside my agonized head?

Is it  for the recreation of dying?

as i research death and the hundreds of 
opportunities it presents each day
It seems to take a lot of my time
I spend the minutes of my days in
the fear of a death that  will last forever
So even
 in my fruitless attempts to rationalize 
and theorize,
 on my eventual end as a corpse
I find no comfort
Science holds no reassurance
that I will end up anything but a molecule of sand
that will be blown about by the winds of stars
and perhaps find roost in another eon of creativity
to perchance find another God willing to take a risk

seems like a longshot 
and i still bear my cynical stigmata.

endlessly

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

heavy reading for me this morning Susan! without faith and hope in life after death there is fear and despair .. i believe (especially in USA) there is not enough talk and sharing about death ... to to have it on ones mind every minute of the day is such a burden it would seem .. science deals with a lot of things but they leave off when it gets to the spiritual door ;) love your poem .. it is brutally honest and wrenchingly hopeless ... i get the sense that your poem is at least somewhat personal .. i hope you are doing ok! its been a while ;)
E.

[SuspectGray]

Quite the cynic...I think it is fruitless to contemplate what we do not understand...even a little. This is where eternity is made...right here. Thanks for the thoughtful poem. Enjoyed ( : O )

[Violet's Run]

thank you for that feedback it really helps to have someone take the time to share.. and I
so appreciate it..and yeah the topic is a bit dark for some.. but the truth is we all face this demon whether we are old ,young, black, white or gender .. it does not matter..
thanks
susan

[rach]

This is so real, the idea of death can be terrifying.
We create stories and ideas to comfort ourselves so we don't have to face the thought of complete non existence.
Beautiful writing, thank you for sharing.