The Wind in the Willows

The Wind in the Willows

A Poem by Violet's Run
"

Where do you go to think about things..?

"
The wind in the willows rustling leaves

The wind in my daydreams seeking release

I stand in the doorway of bad decisions and ask

Why do I find myself again on this path?

Wind in the willows rustling leaves

Could you not take me home again please?

© 2014 Violet's Run


Author's Note

Violet's Run
all comments welcome

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Featured Review

I believe the structure of this can be better...
the way it reads to the reader...
the effectiveness is there --- but lacking ---
with that...I enjoyed the read...
the repeating line with the wind...
and the questions ....
leaves one to come up with their own answer...
---
as an example of what I was saying:

The wind in the willows rustling leaves

The wind in my daydreams seeking release

I stand in the doorway of bad decisions and ask

Why do I find myself again on this path?

Wind in the willows rustling leaves

Could you not take me home again please?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Wind in the willows
rustling leaves

Wind in my daydreams
seeking release

I stand in
doorway of bad decisions
and ask

Why do I find myself
again on this path?

Wind in the willows
rustling leaves

Could you not take me
home again please?

of course --- this is opinionated...
just a suggestion...
you're the final verdict of your work...
good to read your verse...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

The first two lines drew me in for a poetic treat...Bravo...................

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the softness in this poem, "The wind in the willows rustling leaves The wind in my daydreams seeking release" and the way you used the metaphor of, "I stand in the doorway of bad decisions ". You made it sound soft, but yet very real.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Violet's Run

10 Years Ago

Thank you so much for reading and your comment. I appreciate your taking the time and sharing..
read more
it slows the poem down because it is meant to be read softly and thoughtfully like a wind rustling leaves..s


Posted 10 Years Ago


Glen,
Thank you no I see what you are saying and I like it better..
I appreciate the time you took and the value of your comment especially since it really helped!!
thank you
susan

Posted 10 Years Ago


I believe the structure of this can be better...
the way it reads to the reader...
the effectiveness is there --- but lacking ---
with that...I enjoyed the read...
the repeating line with the wind...
and the questions ....
leaves one to come up with their own answer...
---
as an example of what I was saying:

The wind in the willows rustling leaves

The wind in my daydreams seeking release

I stand in the doorway of bad decisions and ask

Why do I find myself again on this path?

Wind in the willows rustling leaves

Could you not take me home again please?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Wind in the willows
rustling leaves

Wind in my daydreams
seeking release

I stand in
doorway of bad decisions
and ask

Why do I find myself
again on this path?

Wind in the willows
rustling leaves

Could you not take me
home again please?

of course --- this is opinionated...
just a suggestion...
you're the final verdict of your work...
good to read your verse...

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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168 Views
5 Reviews
Added on March 22, 2014
Last Updated on March 23, 2014
Tags: spirit, wind, willow tree, peaceful, sad, reflective, past

Author

Violet's Run
Violet's Run

san joaquin valley, CA



About
My grandmother was Violet. I share her name I am Susan Violet.. But she was the strongest most beautiful woman I have met. For some reason when I started writing again I had this image of her telling .. more..

Writing