The Concept of Drowning

Light is ever so far away,
Ever so close, yet here I stay.
Time suspended in lifeless sound,
longing for air or for the ground.
I cannot feel, I cannot breathe,
Here I stay, I cannot leave.
What is it like to feel the air?
I left it too soon, because life isn't fair.

 

Author's Note

Hope you like ^_^

Reviews

[Zree Rye-ben]

Thanks to all of you ^_^ I really appreciate the feedback. And Vain Apocaylpse, I meant to right it as though they're dead already or close to it, but I'll keep that in mind should I touch the subject again. ^_^

[Shannon Carinne Sparks]

It almost makes the concept of drowning sound appealing, and it's so shapely.

[Vain Apocalypse]

Indeed, I do like it. It's short, simple and sweet - if you can consider the experience of drowning to be a sweet thing. While one might expect drowning to be a frantic experience, full of desperation and urgency up until the point of severe oxygen deprivation, this poem isn't frantic at all. Contrarily, this poem is the experience of being submerged, sinking, eyes cast to the surface, but without any effort or struggle depicted.

Aside from that, it seemed to cover all the notable aspects of drowning except for one that comes to mind: the water in the lungs.

[Austin Smith]

I agree with Blue. A very nice piece/concept.

[Blue]

Really nice poem. I wish I could write em like that.