October 7-8

Entry number 8.

Just got back from Jonathans. I couldn't bring myself to confront him about his past and his time in Arkham, at least for right now. I was so scared and unsure for one of the very few times in my life just being in the apartment alone with him. Everytime I found myself staring at him, I would wonder why he became "The Scarecrow". As I left his place this morning to go to my English class, I couldn't help but feel a sense of relief. 

 

I ended up daydreaming through English, thinking again about what I had read. In fact, I didn't even hear the professor dismiss us. I quickly stood up and ran to Jonathans class. I ended up being a few minutes late. He didn't even look up at me from his lecturn as I slipped into my seat. As with English, I stared into space.  In my heart I knew that this fear,this sense of insecurity had to be put to an end. Sure enough after he had dismissed us for the day all the other students were up and running out of the lecture room, excited to finally get their weekend started. Well, except for me of course. I sat there with my head down until I saw his feet appear underneath my desk. It took me a minute to look up, but when I did I felt my heart breaking. His eyes were tired and strained, his face was covered with a light stubble, and his voice was cracking almost like he's trying to keep from breaking down any second.

 

"So, are you coming for the weekend?" he asked me softly as he began to play with my hair like he used to so many times before. I pondered in silence with my eyes closed. While a weekend sounded like fun, in the back of my mind I continued to think about Arkham and how he sat in those cells every hour of every day. I was still scared to death, I was excited because I'd have a first hand account of what Arkham was truly like. I let out a deep breath as I turned up my own tired eyes to him and nodded my head.

 

"I plan on it. What about Mara? Surely she would be home by now." I said with a small chill in my tone and he recoiled slightly. I shook my head as I gathered up my books and stood up. Having a feeling that Mara was coming home, I slid my hand into his and leaned my head onto his shoulder. "If you want to, I'll book our usual place. But I need you to let me know. I also want to talk to you about something." I explained as he looked at me confused and nodded his head, craddling my face in his hands like he was looking at a precious piece of art. 

 

"All right, I'll tell something to Mara. Meet there at 8:30?" He asked as I quickly looked around, saw no one, and planted a soft kiss on his cheek. "Of course, I'll book the room." I said as I turned and left the lecture hall, walking as fast as I could trying to keep myself from crying in front of him.

 

As soon as I got outside I stood in front of the warm sun and began to relax. For some reason I could not figure out why I was behaving this way around Jonathan. I felt like I did care about him deeply, maybe even I AM in love with him. But I know that he will never leave Mara. None the less a few hours later I was packing a weekend bag as I ran around, getting myself ready. I decided to look a little more comfortable and sophisticated to match the cooler weather. Just the typical jeans, a dark red turtleneck, and black heeled boots. As I zipped my bag shut, I looked at the papers I had printed out regarding his release from Arkham. I hesitated to grab them, but in the end I snatched them up, picked up my bag and was on my way out. As I walked among some of the students I began to realize that I was not at all like the rest of them. Most of them were spoiled society brats. They never knew of want because everything was handed to them. I pushed the bitter thought away as I got into my car and pulled out my cell phone ready to call Jonathan. I was actually scared of possibly reaching his wife and her figuring everything out I mean, I knew I could lie and try to pull a story out of the air if I really needed to. I felt my phone began to vibrate as I answered it.

 

"Hello?" I asked trying to keep the fear and anxiety down in my voice. On the other end I heard shuffling and some music in the background. For some reason I thought I heard Guns and Roses, so I almost felt better because I knew that's what Jonathan liked to listen to.  

 

"It's me. Mara is still taking care of the baby. Are you on your way?" he asked as I let out a huge sigh of relief, turned on my car and began the forty five minute drive to the Metropolis city limits where a quaint bed and breakfast stood peacefully. It was a very old fashioned wooden house painted white. It was two floors and every window had a small flowerbox underneath it, always full of beautiful little flowers. When I pulled up I was surprised to see that he was already there. I got my bag out of the car and I walked in. Sure enough, he had already checked into the room as I walked up to our room and shut the door. He was sitting on the bed looking at the floor. I took the article out of its safe haven and handed it to him. He took a look at it and for the first time since we have been together, he started to cry. I sat next to him and held his hands as strongly as I could. After several minutes I couldn't take it anymore and I cried with him. All the emotion that had been building up for the past week, we finally let it pass through. After our outburst, he pulled me into his arms and held me like a baby as he began to speak.

 

"I'm so sorry I never told you. This was a part of my life that I have tried so desperately to get rid of. Mara doesn't know and I hope she never will find out. I was scared to take you there because if someone would remember me or some old debt I had to them, then they'd see you or try to send someone after you. I couldn't risk that Harleen. I care about you too much for something to happen to you." He said as we held each other for the longest time, feeling a sense of peace finally falling over us.

 

After a while we had dismissed ourselves to clean up for dinner. A half hour later, we emerged from our room looking refreshed, holding hands, and happy. After a homecooked dinner of chicken and dumplings, we then joined the rest of the tennets for a brief comedy impromptu show. We came back up a few hours later, giddy and excited. I could barely push the door open without feeling his hands tangling my hair or his lips on my neck. The minute the door shut, I jumped into his arms and began to kiss him wildly. It was right then,  I knew that I didn't want to be anywhere else other than in his arms as we began our usual bedroom wrestling match. It was different then all the other times. It was lighter, happier and more passionate. When we were finished for the night I laid in his arms as we were both tried to catch our breath. I rolled over to him, kissed him on the cheek, and whispered the words I never thought I would have told him.

 

"I love you Jonathan." I told him as I laid my head down on his chest and cuddled with him. After a few minutes I was almost asleep when I finally heard him whisper the words that made me fall asleep with a smile on my face and a fluttering feeling in my heart.

 

"I love you too Harleen."

Reviews

[Sarah McConnaughey]

Aww, that was so sweet! I'm glad Harleen and Jonathan have each other. :)

[Big_Mac]

Baby you are an amazing writer and everytime I read your story I feel all the emotion