If I Could Have One Wish...A Love Story

Dedicated to my one and only love of my life...Terry Allen Seale!

If I Could Have One Wish…A Love Story

 

If I could have one wish… this moment

It would be to hear your voice

Whispering your heartfelt feelings

Against my ear from your lips without choice…

 

If I could have one wish… for your heart

Showing reflections of silhouettes off from a fire

Echoing love sounds of heartbeats everlasting

With our bodies as one burning in the flame of desire…

 

If I could have one wish… for memory

A warm glowing lifetime of pure truth

From the moment I met you through my entire existence

My unconditional love was for no one above you …

 

If I could have one wish...as a love garden

Where love and nature exist as pure beauty

The flowers would bare your colors

But their fragrance would come from me...

 

If I could have one wish… as special

The first time we ever danced

Gallantly reaching your hand out for mine

As you held me close followed the spell of romance…

 

If I could have one wish… for love

The heated moment of anticipated bliss

Your lips like velvet descending upon mine

In a breathless heart-rendering kiss

 

If I could have one wish…to forever feel

It didn't at the moment seem like much

But the searing of heat through my loins

Was the first time we ever touched…

 

If I could have one wish … for “us”

Existing as a painters masterpiece from start

No poet’s words could describe its depth

Not even eternity could tear our spirits apart…

IF I COULD HAVE ONE WISH...IT WOULD ALL BE FOR YOU!

 

 

 

LadyAnn Graham-Gilreath

Feb, 1^st, 2014

 

© For LadyAnn Graham-Gilreath

Reviews

[annabellee]

Fantastic poem. Very sweet and written straight from the heart.
Thank you for sharing :)

[LadyAnn68]

OMG thank you so much! I read it on the radio and I got over 2000 responses from all over the nation! It was super cool. Thank you for reading it!

[annabellee]

Yeah that sounds cool for sure :)
you're most welcome :)

[LadyAnn68]

And yes it was straight from my heart

[Mr Alednac]

Really great poem! I really love the repetition of the line "If I could have one wish" Great stuff!

[LadyAnn68]

Hi, thanks....I read this poem Friday night on the World Poetry OPen Mic Night radio station online...I have received over 2,000 responses. From Washington state to Virginia across country! Then asked me to read it this Friday on Valentines day! Pretty cool huh? Thanks again!

[Mr Alednac]

That is very cool! :D Good Job! Keep up the good work!

[PoetryPenPal]

This poem was phenomenal. I really liked it. It had great metaphors in it. I kept my word!!!

[LadyAnn68]

Yes you did and I am pleased that YOU like it! I am not much of a writer....where love is concerned...this was a memory of my one time love!

[PoetryPenPal]

You can't say you aren't a writer after I read that.

[LadyAnn68]

Oh thank you! Music to my little ol ears!

[PoetryPenPal]

Your welcome.

[LadyAnn68]

XXXXXOOOOO

[PoetryPenPal]

......................:-)

[Praveeta]

Truly sensational piece. Loved it!!

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Okay, so I will give first impressions...which are not always the most kind, but then I am guessing the whole point of your having reviews is not just for the sake of flattery. I love the first lines, and think that I can almost feel the breath on my ear, but the last two words, "without choice," I don't immediately understand. The second stanza is terrific and compelling from beginning to end. I like the third stanza except that the word "anecdote" seems to cheapen what is otherwise a profoundly beautiful love story. (I always get the sense that an anecdote is a short, silly little remembrance that is NOT much worthy of note, but interesting all the same.) Why not "anamnesis" -or for something easier to pronounce, "reminiscence?" The fourth stanza I might consider "in OUR Garden of Eden," because it is slightly hard for me to understand how you have one wish for THEE Garden of Eden. Also why the fragrance of you? (To be clear, I am not complaining, but in most of these cases I am just giving you what first impressions I am getting. When I think longer I may understand better. These are well-meaning questions, not criticisms in the pejorative sense. You are not a poetaster!!) In stanza five I would say, "...as special AS," at the beginning, and then maybe end with something like, "You could hold me forever in that spell of romance." In that way the structure of that stanza would be a complete sentence (if it matters to you...being an English tutor has made me a stickler for certain things). The sixth stanza seems flawless to me! The second line of the seventh stanza could start out, "What didn't at the moment seem like much," and then drop the "of" in the third line, and then in the last line, end with "Was ECSTASY the first time we ever touched..." or you could replace the word "ecstasy" with "surrender" or any number of other things. I feel like that would give you a place for one more powerful idea in that stanza. As an English tutor type, and as an editor I would say in the last stanza, "painter's" should have an apostrophe. The second line of the eighth stanza has kind of two phrases clipped together with possible redundancy when you say "a painter's masterpiece OF ART." I would alter it slightly because a masterpiece generally is a work of art...and it seems you are saying "work of art" and also "masterpiece" when either one would do fine. I would drop the "of art," and change the beginning of this line slightly to make it feel more full: "To exist as a painter's masterpiece." The last two lines are hauntingly beautiful and I wouldn't dare alter them! I hope nothing here seems harsh as it is all well-meaning and hopefully able to allow you options rather than making you think I just want to imply you need to make dozens of changes. However, you asked me to review, so you get my full treatment!! Ha!!!

[LadyAnn68]

Great I might make some changes that was a perfect...but let me tell you about the words "without choice" meaning he couldn't keep them back...rushing forth form his mouth kind of thing! Does that make sense?

[Robert Tusitala O'Neill]

Ah! -Yes, it makes sense, but I like "involuntarily" there...I feel it is less possible to mistake. Was it really a perfect summary on my part?! I am truly grateful for the opportunity and your saying that. I love the chance to review as well as to be reviewed!