Pain Ritual

Hopefully the traits of youth will make you laugh....but I really do need to clean my room though!

Ye Gods! What a slob she has been,

The putrescence leavings of the adolescent teen,

The wasting mounds of fashions flavour corrupt,

And all this trash to idle to pick up.

 

What good the vista of pleasant dreams,

Now thus a cage of distorted horror scenes,

When too strong the stench of sheets un-fresh,

And the need of a duster for this cobwebbed mess.

 

Not a foot nor an inch of floor left pure,

But the juncture of sanitations awful demur,

What use the airing of a single open window,

When what’s left is the destruction of a mass volcano? 

 

What we need is the might of a black plastic bag,

To cleanse the harmony of this defiled pad,

And scrape and scrub till this paint shine true,

Was this the birthplace of the dreaded swine flu?

 

And once we have tided, mended and revived,

Never again must desk and bin have no divide,

But she will learn the pains are worth some thought,

When she’s moved out and the cleaning vibe caught!

 

Author's Note

I did clean up after writting this, promise.

Reviews

[The Raven King]

This is fantastic! This is one of those poems that makes you love words. Sometimes you read something and you can tell that the writer loves words. The sense of humor is great. Very much like modern shakespeare grotesque and sophisticated at the same time. On some parts the rythm was off a little, but that's my only criticism. Good job.

[J.K. (Not Rowling)]

Are you sure you weren't peeking into my room when this was written? Superb job with this. Sometimes it does take making a farce of oneself before you can spring into (spring-cleaning) action. Your humor is unmistakable. Remarkably well done. You made me smile on a Monday, no easy feat!

[April Child]

I can almost smell the room, ewwww. Fun poem, well captured, now go clean up!

[R J Askew]

Very witty. I like it. The observation is strong and the ability to laugh at yourself is a good trait. I esp like the notion of the desk being sort of one with the rubbish bin. The best line for me is 'The putrescent leavings of the adolescent teen'.