Prettily Praised

Another experiment, maybe something that Lisabeth would write.

Can one write of beauties shield?

The mask of unfathomable skill,

When at last sunlight doth reveal,

Under those eyes lie too strong a will,

Capture my heart with easy promise,

For far moons shine not so pretty,

Then thy grace adorn with luminary sluice,

And still with shinning manners quite happy.

What could I but praise your gifts,

For thee be the world of my own,

And save for each moment of rejoices bliss,

And together may we be old grown.

But never shall my happy thoughts be true,

As every night alone shall I be without you.

 

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Yes, she would have a go at the odd 14 liner. Ilike the question and the notion of beauty's shield' in the first line. Also like, 'Under those eyes lies too strong a will. The last two lines are in keeping with her experience and HIS sad death. I'm intrigues by 'luminary sluice' but can't solve it! I am a mad syllable counter and I make your poem 7,8,8,9,9, 8,11,10,7,8,11,9,10,12...having said that I don't know what to say next other than that I might aim for 10 or 9 per line...but as you say, maybe Eliz is learning, experimenting also. Also, much as i respect form, I always think content is far more important. I think the best part of the poem is the sadness at the end. She is unhappy.

[Brianna Brie]

This is definitely Lisabeth quality. I like it a lot. The ending hit home hard. Thanks for entering it into the In My Loves Words contest.