The pain of death

This was written because on the second of February my grandfather passed away and now a dear friend has lost her father, I realise my words won�t make things better but it was something I need to do�

Hatred fills the melting heart, the folly of hope now forgotten,

The ache of darkness, emptiness consuming,

Loss the only word, loss, the pain of death,

Can’t sleep, can’t eat, can’t think but to grieve…

 

Is the chance of love really worth it all?

 

Yet the phoenix takes to flight, souring thought the change,

Rebirth form fiery ashes, memories newly regained,

Joy in its highest endeavour, restocking the fires within,

Pain eases, doubt departs, and the memory of old times exceeds.  

 

 

 

Reviews

[Brandon Taylor-Black]

My condolences. My grandmother passed on the 9th February...
You've expressed your feelings amazingly with this write.
It's well thought out, honest and heartfelt.
Bravo on your courage, and I hope the future is beter for both you and your friend.

[Morgan Ashire]

Loss can be hard. I'm sorry that you were going through such sorrow as I was going through a day of such joy. Your grandfather passed on my birthday. My 18th birthday at that. I can't help but feel a tie to this piece. From what I read, it was good, until I hit the second stanza. All sense just seemed to leave. There was no real structure to these words and they seemed to jump a bit. I'd consider a revision. Especially of the line, "...souring thought the change." That, above the rest, really doesn't make too much sense. I suggest definite revision.

[DarkAngelWriter]

Many sorries for the loss. Good piece, packed with emotion.

[dawnmarie]

so sorry for you loss .... wonderful poem filled with pain, that everyone can relate too...

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Lovely poem.
Just one question...
Is this supposed to say 'from fiery ashes'.
Rebirth form fiery ashes, memories newly regained,

Just wondered.
Thank you for sharing.
Love All, Mejasha

[~crazy Beautiful~]

your express emotion well, death is one of the hardest parts of life.
very heartfelt poetry
i especially liked the mention of the fight of the phoenix
nice work
thank you for entering my contest

[Rain]

I also am sorry for your loss. You wrote such a beautiful piece. Is love worth it ? As someone who has a terminal cancer, I say..give me all you got, life. I want to feel it all. Death is a curious thing. We all wait our turn. I am unafraid. As a person once said.." I just don't want to be there when it happens." You piece was good for you to write, and good for me to read. Rain..

[E. M. Murren]

Such sadness expressed so beautifully. I am sorry for your loss. I know it must be hard. It shows in your art. What you have done with your grief is exquisite, though.

[Raef C. Boylan]

"souring thought the change," - I really like this phrase, but wonder if 'souring' was intended to be 'soaring', as in bird flight? That second stanza seems to suggest a more positive mood, and "souring" negates that mood.

Good imagery, especially in the second stanza: "restocking the fires within".

Thanks for sharing this with us.

[Z]

this is a wonderful, elegy.... perfectly formatted and descriptive to the point where you can feel something from this poem.

[Karen Raquepo]

It really grieves us when someone special will be gone.But,life takes in its coarse, as it was.I love this poem,it's very emotional,it assure that life is beautiful and so...life must go on!