Chapter 1 - ALICE

It all started on the Second of September 1933. Millicent and her sister Alice had to go to the water tap that laid three and a half miles form the village. It was mid morning and the girls had been walking for an hour already, loaded down with all the pots they could carry. The sun was high in the sky that morning, and was so hot that Millicent could feel sticky sweat dribbling down her neck despite a soft wind blowing the dust about her ankles.

 

The road was long, straight and unmarked, as no trucks had driven over it in years. A sudden rustle of dry leaves from a small patch of trees and bushes near the track, made the sisters turn around sharply. A boy, the same age as Alice, stood there. He had longish hair in matted clumps dangling by his ears. His eyes were brown and he had a very long nose, almost pointed but his skin was most unusual, a mix of black and white as though he had both types of parents. But that was absurd; a white person would never have a child with dark folk…He called out to Millicent’s sister, claiming he needed to talk to her, but why Millicent did not know. Alice went to the boy and spoke to him in a whisper before returning to her wide-eyed sister.

 

“Millie, why don’t you carry on without me.” She said in her sweet voice. “I won’t be long.”

 

And with that Alice turned from Millicent and ran back to the boy without a backwards glance. Feeling an unexplainable wave of defeat, Millicent had no other choice but to go on alone.

 

As she walked the dust path, Millicent couldn’t help but wish that Alice had come with her instead of going off with a young man she, Millicent did not know. If their Stepfather ever found out that Alice had left her, she was sure to have something terrible done to her. Millicent was sure of it. But all she could do was hope beyond hope that Alice would catch up soon.

 

Millicent loved her sister dearly – she has always been so nice to Millicent, helping her with the chores when she was sick, teaching Millicent how to cook and sew. Alice had such a gentle, loving nature. Sometimes when Stepfather was out they would sing songs together and make gingerbread. Even when the girls were younger they would play hid and seek in one of the fields near where they lived, making a den out of hay barrels, pretending it was a house, a home just for them.  It had been so nice, until the farmer knocked it down and told their Stepfather. Never had they had a beating like it. He beat the girls until their skin turned blue and purple. Until they bled. At the end Millicent had a cut lip and many burses. But Alice had had the worst of it. Stepfather said that she was the oldest, told her she should know better. Poor Alice had to have her arm in a sling for weeks after. Stepfather had blacked her eye and knocked out one of her teeth. He broke three of her fingers. The back of her dress was soaked in blood from a large cut on the back of her head where he had stuck her with a whiskey bottle. Alice still has that scar underneath her hair. He told her it was to teach her, that she was dirty and needed to be cleaned.

 

Alice was to weak to stand after he beat her, but the worst of the punishment was yet to come. Stepfather dragged her off the floor and into his room. He let out his anger. Millicent heard Alice’s cries from outside. Her screams of refusal. The sound of Stepfather’s fists. The thudding on the walls. It was the worst night of Millicent’s life and one that she had to revisit every night. The next morning as the girls were dressing for church Millicent saw the burses on her sisters waist and knew he had down to her what he had done to their mother.

 

Millicent reached the water tap. There was a long queue of people, many women and a few small children, carrying pots and buckets, all waiting patiently for their turn. One small boy had a tin cup and sat by the tap filling it every time no one was in the way, just to drain it again and again. Millicent eyed the crowed curiously, looking for sings of ill treatment, wondering if every family had a bully. Wondering if everyone lived in shadow.

 

After ten minutes it was her turn. Filling her canteens to their tops, to decrease the possibility of another trek tomorrow, she moved her burden out of the way, even having to use her head to shift the load. Then once she was far enough away so not to cause trouble, she sat on the dust ground to wait for Alice. But she didn’t come.

 

After an hour Millicent was fed up and starting to grow steadily more worried that Stepfather might come and beat her for being slow. So she pulled herself up and got ready to leave. There where still a few older women around and the small boy with his cup but Alice was still no were to be seen.

 

Millicent started on the way home, thinking that she would meet her sister on the way. She stopped only once; at the place they had met the young man, to see if Alice was still there. But she wasn’t.

 

 

Reviews

[Bubo]

Oh crumbs, so sad and real...off to part two.

[Jennifer Ryan]

I liked this a lot. It took me a minute to figure the ethnicity of the girls however it is good to not sit paint the whole picture. I like it when writers drop little hints allowing the readers to figure things out for themselves.

I think this needs a little proofreading but definitely shaping up well. Good job.

[Charlie Farnham]

The innocence in the description of the boy Alice leaves with, was a nice touch, as if at that point we, the readers, are inside Millie's head. There are some errors in grammer and such but I'll help you out with that later when I have the time heh.

Great write!

[Caleb]

Good job. Your story seems like it will be interesting and there was enough insight into the characters that I was left wanting to know what happens. A few grammer errors, but nothing major.

You did had a few sentences that tended to ramble. You might try re-reading them to see if you can take out any unnecessary wording or make them flow a little smoother. Good work, keep it up!

[Michael Raymond Robinso..]

Compelling and intriguing. I liked it thus far. I like the non personal touch of simply stating: Stepfather. Sounds distant, menacing..I enjoyed the read. I've got questions, curiosity has taken hold and pulled me in, wanting to know more.

Again, great write, can't think of any issues or mistakes that stand out right now.