The story of a fallen angel who was forced into slavery by the king of vampires, whom she fell in love with before he turned her, giving her the strength to break free by killing her love.
Time lost within time,
I'm lost within my mind.
Hope faded into tears.
I scream and no one hears.
Pain grows and fills my soul,
forced into this slave-like role.
Fear shines within my eyes,
Screaming out saying no more lies.
Hatred fills my heart that bleeds,
Watch me now as my master feeds.
I'm lost and pulled by love that leads.
Hurt by love yet again,
Crimson tears filling taped up veins.
Black blood filling clouds that rain.
In the night now I am turned.
Of all the darkest secrets I have learned,
Innocence only gets you killed.
Laugh now as my crimson tears are spilled.
Tears are screams with hidden meaning,
Thus my soul is filled with screaming,
God, I wish that I were dreaming.
Fallen angels scream, can't cry,
Vampires scream but they can't die.
End this torment from inside,
Lost like tears they never cried.
So turn each other, become one.
Burn everything like the fiery sun.
Become the defect of Heaven and Hell,
the imperfect cast out and quelled.
Freeze now all the Earth and time,
look in my eyes now you are mine.
Wow, a whole story spilled within a poem quite poetically.
My first impression was that the rhyme scheme was probably going to be rough especially with a poem with such a complex plot.
The diction is on key.
Here, this line kind of confused me, "Fallen angels scream can't cry," I think you have the comma in the wrong place. Maybe it should be between "scream" and "can't". Otherwise, I don't understand and it makes the flow stop.
The last part was heart pounding, I must say. I feel the bitter revenge within the narrator's tone.
I complement you for sharing this. You should mak this into a book ya know.
Wow, a whole story spilled within a poem quite poetically.
My first impression was that the rhyme scheme was probably going to be rough especially with a poem with such a complex plot.
The diction is on key.
Here, this line kind of confused me, "Fallen angels scream can't cry," I think you have the comma in the wrong place. Maybe it should be between "scream" and "can't". Otherwise, I don't understand and it makes the flow stop.
The last part was heart pounding, I must say. I feel the bitter revenge within the narrator's tone.
I complement you for sharing this. You should mak this into a book ya know.
New note: I keep getting e-mail alerts that I have messages, but when I log on the messages are gone. Today it said I got another one (from JCoker), but sorry my inbox here is empty.
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