A Memory in the Dark

Tells the story of an altercation witnessed by a young women.

Of all the places I have been,

In memory one stands true.

A feeling rising deep within,

Of fear and sadness and awe anew.

 

A midnight sky,

A gentle breeze,

A broken cry,

Echoes through the trees.

 

I climb up as far as I can go,

Full moon shining bright,

A spot of crimson on the snow,

A never-ending night.

 

Silence fills the shadows cold,

Unnatural yet beautifully still.

Pain so strong I can almost hold,

A fleeing shadow fading beyond the hill.

 

A sound heard, a sigh.

A woman stands up straight.

In silence she does cry,

A life denied a darkened fate.

 

The wind blows back my hair,

Watching in the dark.

She sees me sitting there,

And as she waves I hear a single bark.

 

I climb down to her side,

And she says that she’s okay,

“Don’t say anything!” she cried,

And the memory fades away.

Author's Note

Tell me if you picked up on the subliminal underlying story? I think I might have been too vague, but I'm hoping that if you read between the lines you'll see the story of what exactly the narrator witnessed.

Reviews

[Livana Lowell]

Kawaii!! You weren't too vague, I could see a perfect picture or animation in my head.

This could be developed within a story I believe of the secrecy related to the shadows behind a death a woman mourns in a stubborn way.

One little thing, though, this line: "Of fear and sadness and awe anew." Without the commas, using just the "ands" makes the pace of the piece slow down. If you did not intend this, then removes the "and" before sadness, and replace it with a comma making it grammically correct. Or you could seperate them into fragments making the pace speed up.

In any case, I really enjoyed this piece.