Write your soul word for
word
Tell me your darkest secrets ever told
Make me love you, make me hate you
Hours by hours and days by days
You spill your soul for me to bear
You are the soul writer
While I am a soul eater
I feed off broken souls
To replace the soul that I don’t have
I try to ease away my pain
By cause everyone around me to feel the same
You are the soul guardian
While I am a soul stealer
I take what is not mine
I never give them back
You fight against me
Thinking you can save the lost souls that I have eaten
You are the soul lover
While I am the soul hater
How can I live knowing that I tear up souls?
Simply because I am evil
I want to stop
But something inside of me doesn’t want to
You are the soul writer
So write me a good soul
Give it to me
So I can be as pure as before
Only then will I ever stop
Once again, I gain back the soul
I think you have good reason to like this one. I loved that ending, stealing stoles because their soul was stolen. Oh and I also loved that idea of a 'soul writer.' It's great. This was a really nice poem.
So clever and original. Beautifully written and haunting - it made me want to carry on and review it, even though I don't usually review poems. This is really thought-provoking and leaves me wanting more!
This is a good horror-type poem but also tells the truth about a lot of people in our world. The soul is what makes us who we are, when we lose it we become irrational, and unpleasant, feeding off others in an attempt to control them. Nice writing, I enjoyed it.
Posted 12 Years Ago
It touches on a writer's fear of exposing themselves through their words. It also says something about the cycle of violence. It reminds me of this, taken from John Steinbeck's "East of Eden" (which I suggest you read).
" The greatest terror a child can have is that he is not loved, and rejection is the hell he fears...And with rejection comes anger, and with anger some kind of crime in revenge...One child refused the love he craves, kicks the cat and hides his secret guilt; and another steals so that money will make him loved; and a third conquers the world - and always the guilt and revenge and more guilt."
I wrote my flash fiction piece 'Antihill" with this in mind.
As for complaints, I think there a few awkward parts and a few unnecessary words you could pull, but overall: well done.
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