Pregnant With a Purpose (chapt. 20)

This is a scene from the novel I have recently finished.

     The door opened slowly. She was afraid to enter the room so she stood in the doorway. Mariah and Vanessa looked over the room that once used to belong to Vanessa. Slowly, Vanessa inched into the room taking tiny steps. The room didn't look or feel the same to her anymore, and Mariah could tell Vanessa had spent very little time in it lately.
     Instantly, the images replayed in Vanessa's head. Mariah tried not to create any images as Vanessa tried to shut them out. She gathered the belongings she wanted and sat them in a pile near the door. Her constant screams from that night played in her mind. It seemed loud and real to her. She covered her ears and closed her eyes tight. Mariah grabbed her, and tried to calm her down. She asked if she wanted to leave, but Vanessa declined. She planned on facing her problems no matter how difficult it was.
     Mariah went and grabbed the bleach cleaner and a couple of rags. She handed the spray bottle to Vanessa. Carefully, Vanessa examined the whole room. With tears in her eyes, and anger in her heart, she vigorously sprayed each wall. Mariah sat back and watched Vanessa with tears in her eyes. Vanessa cried as she sprayed. She continued to spray even though the walls were covered. The smell of the bleach grew stronger and stronger in the room.
     Vanessa stopped.
     Slowly, Mariah made her way to a wall and wiped it down. Vanessa didn't. She watched the bleach trickle down the walls as she breathed heavily.
     The closet caught Vanessa's attention. For a moment, she stared at it's brown frame. After slowly walking to the door, she opened it, and got on her knees. She dug through all of the junk, and threw it to the side until she found what she was looking for.
     Mariah looked at Vanessa with curiosity. She watched her carefully pulling and tugging at something in the closet. Finally, Vanessa held a part of her past in her hands. She threw the sheet that was covered in her blood on the floor and picked up the spray bottle. With a great amount of frustration, she attacked the purple sheets with bleach, and Mariah watched her.
     Vanessa sprayed as if she was holding the gun, and the sheets represented Julien. Sounds of frustration and anger released from her mouth. Tears blurred her vision as she dropped the spray bottle and let her tears flow.
     Mariah rushed to Vanessa's side and wrapped her arms around her. She began to pray as she held her close. Vanessa listened to Mariah's every word, and remained calm.
     "Let it out, Ness." Mariah said when she finished praying.
     Vanessa wiped her tears away when Mariah was done embracing her. They both stared at the sheets Vanessa tried to destroy.
     "I'm sorry." Vanessa cried.
     "No. No." Mariah placed her hand on Vanessa's back. "It's alright, Nessy."
     "This is a lot to handle." Vanessa confessed.
     "I know. I understand completely. God is taking care of everything." Mariah encouraged.
     In a way, Vanessa felt a little better. From time to time she got very emotional, but she felt the frustration she just released helped.
     "I hate him." Vanessa broke down a little.
     "That's a strong word." Mariah informed.
     "How could Uncle Julien do it though? He treated me like I was his daughter, and he ruined his marriage with you."
     Mariah hesitated. "Some things just can't be explained. He must have been out of his mind."
     Vanessa was quiet. She looked away from Mariah and directed her attention around the room. Streaks of bleach stained the walls, and the carpet had spots of bleach also. Just like Lisa's letter, Vanessa wanted the room to be in her past, and a distant memory. Setting it on fire wasn't an option, so she decided to let it go and never return to it.
     "You know," Mariah broke the silence. "You're going to have to forgive Julien sooner or later. Not for him, but for yourself. The more you hang on to it, the more it will eat you up."
     Vanessa nodded to let Mariah know she understood.

Author's Note

This is one of my favorite scenes from my novel. Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Felicity]

Well written, i like it alot. It has made me interested in reading the rest of the story.

[DBURKE]

This was really good and I enjoyed reading it. I havent had the chance to read the rest but based off of this chapter this is a really interesting story!

[FantasyFan77]

Please post more! :)

[The Analog Kid]

I haven't read anything else from this novel, but this was a well done, intense scene. The bleach was meant to sanitize, any nice strong emotions while doing it with some decent dialogue:)

Pat

[Tia Sanchez]

Wow! This was pieced together really well!! [[High five!! LOL]]
But really, I loved this little scene. Why only post a scene? Post the whole thing!

[Dutch Jr.]

This is written really well, for starters. I'm feeling your writing style. It's very close to your characters, and your scene flows with ease. From this excerpt alone, I can tell a lot about Vanessa. Can't really critique your plot, because I haven't read enough of this. Really would like to read the rest of this.