I Did It for Love

based on a true story.

I gave up my virginity at a young age to a boyfriend I "loved", who only said he loved me..
And though I couldn't complain about who I gave it to, my first time wasn't all it was choked up to be..
I gave him every single last part of my body, because he was mine, and... I was his..
Both had fantasies and dreams of becoming married, and having kids..
So I took those fantasies and made it reality, believing everything he had to say.. because I belonged to him and he was mine..
I laid there, lonely after he took every ounce of my innocence, playing it over and over in my mind.
What was I thinking? Giving me all so freely, just so he could run back and have a story to tell..
Although I felt it went by fast, he took his precious time, and at the end of of December 4th, he knew my body too well..
Every birth mark and beauty mark there was, he knew the location; we became more familiar with one another..
All because in our simple, young minds we belonged to one another..
But you know what's funny? As soon as another chance to be alone came, he'd be receiving me once more..
In my mind, I soon realized I was so much better than this.. Was I just overly insecure?
All I cared about was him being mine, and me forever being his..
Wife and friend, I would trade everything in just to have his kids..
Then I grew up and suddenly realized that the prize I gave him, he only set aside..
As though it meant nothing, we broke up and I was the only one left with tears in my eyes..
Since then, I hated the fact that I loved him, only because he was aware of the power he had over me..
If I heard anything about him, I swear I was so close to losing my sanity..
I had to own up to the fact I made a poor choice of who I let in..
People ask "Do you still love him?" And I say it all depends..
Was he only with me to get with me? Or did he without a doubt love me unconditionally?
The answer is quite obvious because still this day, he no longer belongs to me..
I can pretend the pain doesn't bother me, but some how it does..
And as much as I don't want to say it was a huge mistake, deep down I know it was..
Even though I don't have him as a boyfriend, a friend is good enough for me..
And I can go through life knowing I was his first, and he was the first for me..

Ladie NiQue

Author's Note

Tell me what you think!

Reviews

[biggerthenu]

nice write my favorite part is All because in our simple, young minds we belonged to one another.. that's a strong sentence. the things we do in our youth thanks for sharing well written

[DBURKE]

This is a really great expressive poem! I have to commend you for the originality of this piece and the fact that you took the time to write about what many woman reflect on from time to tome! great write!

[KatiePie]

I was bare and naked, there were no shadow cast upon the truth to spare us, it was beautiful because of this. Because things like these come from the heart, and they mean so much to you and the people who read them because they're a part of you, your connected at the soul with these experiences, they're in your memory forever.. I can't say that I feel your pain though, or that I know what you went through, because I don't and I haven't. But I can say I felt maybe 1/100000000th of the pain you did by just reading this, because the words mean something, why would you have posted them if they didn't right?

[Michael X]

I'm not sure you are taking any time crafting this into a poem,
this reads like a journey entry, from the first three lines,
which serious readers want to read poetry, this writing is difficult
but i'm sure you have talent, lets see it and have fun :)

[Dutch Jr.]

Just beautiful poetic expression. Great work.

[Thus Said Broken]

truth. very refreshing.

[The Analog Kid]

Very honest and straightforward.

Patrick

[SoHopeful]

I really enjoyed this. I like that you were honest about the whole situation and just the general thruthfulness of it because most people wouldn't be. Being young still I can relate, I made a similar decision thinking we were in love but it all ended badly with alot of tears. So thank you for writting the story I couldn't