BIG OLE' BAD JAKE'S SALOON

Down at  Big "Ole' Bad Jake's Saloon," in Whiskey Stump, Texas…'One Eyed Jack' sits down at his trusty old player piano he named 'Sexy ole' Sally', thumping out a rowdy old tune. Dusty cowpokes in from their long, hard ride on the old Chisholm Trail, trying to round up their cattle, after 'bitin' the dust', just wanting to quench their thirst, play some cards and perhaps find themselves a purdy little gal.

 

Saloon girls dancing and prancing all around; beautiful crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings and nude paintings of women suggestively titillate the senses to the well dressed slicks and all the dudes in from the trail.

 

'Hog-killin’ good times to be had by all. Gambling card sharks with a 'lick and a promise'… there to win and play, to ‘beat the devil around the stump’ for an ole’ poke’s pay, all ready to ‘play to the galley’ and show off their stuff.

 

“Hey Shortie”, yells old Sam from the bar, “Bend an elbow”, have a drink, c’mon in n' ‘kick up a row’”

“Give me a snort of that ‘ole’ be joyful’”, says the ole', white bearded Shortie, as he leans on the counter with his old worn out cowboy boots restin' on the rail with all the other cowboys that are 'nailed to the bar'.

 

Fancy gamblers in their best ‘bib and tuckers, smoking’ fine cigars and tiparillos.  Some are bunko artists by 'hook or crook'. Some right outta’ the 'ole’ Hoosegow', ready to 'clean your plow' with a 'chisel and a sly grin', meant to 'make a mash, catch some cash' and win the games of poker, "buckin' the tiger' and twenty one, with their greasy, ole'dog eared playin' cards. 

 

The weather outsides hotter than a 'whorehouse on nickel night', so the whiskey's a flowin', ready to 'wet their whistles' n' 'loose their 'flannel mouthed thirsty throats', that all them there cowpokes are a totin' in their thirsty gills.

All the bucks with their bellies 'full as a tick' from soakin' up the drink... tryin' to 'make a mash' on the new saloon girls some as 'fine as crème gravy'. Tryin' to 'cut a swell' n' 'get a wiggle on' with the ladies to make a 'little hay, have a little play', while the night's still young in the saddle.

 

 

 

Ain't no suprise at Big Bad Jake's Saloon, if one ole' cowpoke accused another of cheatin'...

why he'd pull out his pistol... n' shoot um' dead, right there at the table.

 

 

 

 

 

That's just how the ole' West was... pistol totin', cigar smokin' whiskey snortin' ole' cowboys, with silver spurs on their boots; some kickin' up a row, some just drinkin' n' playin' cards. tellin tall ole' tales and arguing abouit who shot Billy The Kid.

 

One says he’s the man and the other says he’s just a 'bluffin’ thru' his ole’ snoot', while they argue and yell, both drunk as an ole' loon in  'Ole Big Bad Jake's saloon.

 

Over in the corner Bunko Bob strums his ukulele while 'One Eyed Jack' tickles the ivories, clinking out an old familiar waltz. Saloon girls, move easily around the room of gamblers and cowpokes. Flirting with their charms, laughing at their jokes.  They’ll dance them around for a bit, sing them a pretty little song.

Some cowboy might even want a ‘poke’, so they’ll take them upstairs… after all they’re just workin’ girls tryin’ to make a living down at  ‘ Ole Big Bad Jake's Saloon’.

by anne p murray aka ladeeanne/ 5/2012