INVISIBLE LOVER

 Placing my by

Placing my thoughts upon the fragile fibers of yesterday and then disentangling the knotted strands, I try to find ways to mend the tattered strings and tie them up together in neat, colorful bundles of love and compassion.

 

With two empty suit cases sitting on my shelf, I wonder…is this a clue to move on, leaving all your whispers and mine behind? Our sadness did not redeem us. Our shame did not save us. I can only look back with my head held in sorrow.

Or is it more like anger I feel? It is so hard to maintain a semblance of dignified silence. I was always taught to behave like a lady. So much for that unorthodox semblance of idealism.  

 

I let out wordless sighs in my dreams and call out in angry bursts of self-pity…which I really loathe, self-pity that is. The angry bursts, I prefer to call cathartic, choleric indulgence. It’s hard to admit my life goes on in this sort of un-idyllic humor.

 

All this talk about the moon and stars and love forever more. Well I burned that tree to the ground, leaving its ashes scattered all over my heart. I love so badly.

Or maybe… It was, that I was loved badly?

 

I am happy lonely? It’s just the way it is. It was not my image of what paradise should have been- could have been. I had no pretensions of grandeur- simply forever abiding love and devotion.

 

Has it all been lies? The soft whispers of “I love you” in dispassionate faces?

 Were they just words said in hunger? Oh I am so whipped by the stinging lashes of regret. 

 

My fantasies turned into fallacies. Did I say I hate the acidity of self-pity? Even so, I bathe myself in my own sadness? Does it really matter that somebody became a nobody …and now it’s never? I’ll search for an invisible lover, someone to whisper silent words in my ear. Feeling the gentle touch of unknown hands… marking my time to an unheard melody, thru' the fragile fibers of yesterday.

 

disentangling the knotted strands, I try to find ways to mend the

Wtatterewrwrd strings

and tie them up together in neat, colorful bundles of love and compassion.

With two empty suit cases sitting on my shelf, I wonder…is this a clue to move on, leavinbyg all your whispers and mine behind? Our sadness did not redeem us. Our shame did not save us. I can only look back with my head held in sorrow. Or is it more like anger I feel? It is so hard to maintain a semblance of dignified silence. I was always taught to behave like a lady. So much for that unorthodox semblance of idealism.

I let out wordless sighs in my dreams and call out in angry bursts of self-pity…which I really loathe, self-pity that is. The angry bursts, I prefer to call cathartic, choleric indulgence. It’s hard to admit my life goes on in this sort of un-idyllic humor.

All this talk about the moon and stars and love forever more. Well I burned that tree to the ground, leaving its ashes scattered all over my heart. I love so badly.

Or maybe… was it that I was loved badly?

I am happy lonely? It’s just the way it is. It was not my image of what paradise should have been- could have been. I had no pretensions of grandeur- simply forever abiding love and devotion.

Has it all been lies? The soft whispers of “I love you” in dispassionate faces?

Were they just words said in hunger? Oh I am so whipped by the stinging lashes of regret.

My fantasies turned into fallacies. Did I say I hate the acidity of self-pity? Even so, I bathe myself in my own sadness? Does it really matter that somebody became a nobody …and now it’s never? I’ll search for an invisible lover, someone to whisper silent words in my ear. Feeling the gentle touch of unknown hands… marking my time to an unheard melody.

By anne p murray

Reviews

[MichaelGrisby]

Wow, this is truly an amazing piece. "I love so badly.
Or maybe… It was, that I was loved badly?" I'm pretty sure we can all relate to that. I love it!

[anne p. murray- LadeeAnne]

Why thank you Michael...so nice of you to stop by sharing your wonderful thoughts and comments...read moreWhy thank you Michael...so nice of you to stop by sharing your wonderful thoughts and comments...
Your friend Anne

[Dream Weaver]

This is so sadly poignant each word sinking deeper into
depression as if fooling yourself of the conclusion that seems
to be eminent. Really nice work Anne.

[anne p. murray- LadeeAnne]

Thank you Joe. It's nice to hear from you an d have you review my work
Merry christmas

[Dream Weaver]

My pleasure Anne and a Merry Christmas to you! :)