the night the moon refused to shine

                     on this stage

              as i face the struggle within

                            setting the past aside

       i've grown used to my indecent hostilities

            transfixed by the sadness of poverty

      

          i tire of the disappearance of life

                  doing things no one appreciates            

           i try to ignore the irrational

            shall i go on- keeping up the payments of life?

 

all the crazy torment, of taking chances

                i utter the words while the past twists and turns

                   as I keep talking it over with me...with God

  covered in despair i feel like a discoverer...

 on a ship with no life raft moved to the side of the river

                

            i've fought through the inevitableness of agony

      accused of an increase of emptiness

       i've sacrificed romance forever with the time ticking away

               

            time has no explanation

                 it's all- or nothing

            along the path with life's mortgage past due

 haunting memories -rehashing the disorder of belief

       

       i assessed my expectations

                  i'm just too tired to play the games anymore

           i accuse destiny of my dying inside

          

                  i inherit threats of leaving

       coloring the days and nights for the time being

in this land of dreams, an unbearable obsession devours me...

      i was so torn by the exit of you

               somehow i've grown accustomed of losing everybody in this life

 should i let my despair show beholding an obscure face          

                     with tears refusing to cry their wetness

           breaking apart

          feeling nothing

as the moon lights the frozen lake?

    

           sizing up all this misery

                 i don't know how i got here

            hardly moving through the being of the world   

 are the fish still biting...

in the loneliness of this unsavory landscape?

          

across the street i laugh at the untutored shouts

 of night's uncertainty…it's all so altogether painful

           

      i expose everything

    tricked by the bitterness of change in the unproductive rain

           i'm drifting through things of the past        

       complete with prophetic discontent

            i tell you... the nonchalance of it all is disgusting

the difficulty of pretending about my place in this world

          setting everything in motion as the night passes

       i face stale foolishness

             love is just so much unplanned profanity...

   the misbegotten affairs- the liars, the cheaters

    what uncolorful experiences

 i move through life's hurt as a grenadiers song is playing

and all those sterile people I choose to leave alone

               

                   now, at this time in the night...

the night the moon refused to shine   

          i'm in seclusion dropping out

in the yellow of the cold december moonlite 

   wanting to leave behind

            the hurt -the damage

                     lost in grief

                one last time

                     with no feelings left to share

_______________________________

 

by anne p murray