I was hooked in by the first stanza. It is by far the strongest. The subsequent stanzas are less good and I think could be made better by jettisoning the fourth line of each: thrills, pill, ill. By substituting the fourth line of the first stanza as a refrain "Kiss me until it kills" in each stanza the poem acquires a greater gravity. Otherwise, well done. I will certainly read some more of your work.
I really like your poem.... in the deepths of desire kiss me until I am ill .... this is just so beautiful! ''the kisses can heal and kill '' very well done.
First off, I hate to see someone as warm as you get killed just cause of "Kiss" lol So, be safe!
And second off, I adore this poem because you've raise some fire into the bottom of my heart penning such kinda warm words, am feeling if an angel's standing before my eyes n she's speaking up to me what you penned in this poem then how should I react? cause, if an angel onself wants to get kissed by me then how can this devil refuse her beautiful offer? No way! I'd love to kiss her but I'd hate to make her ill cause, if she becomes ill then who'd again ask me for such kinda "Kisses!" Lol so that's all I think!
You are passionate, passionate about love indeed!
You've got a warm heart so, stay warm n heat it up! You this poem's really very warm!
Keep up the great work!
My goodness idk where to begin Lacuna!!!! Wow I think this write is screaming:) I loved it friend remind me of an old tv commercial ill have to find it on youtube.
I thought I was listening to Avril L...here with this verse...
Leaves nothing out of the imagination...
all thrill and action...
you must of been in the moment...
when you wrote this one...
Absolutely beautiful! I particularly like your use of imagery and personification, overall it's just so passionate, and flows really well. I love it :)
Hello My name is Lacuna. I have lived my life in the Burbs of Chicago but have recently relocated to the country. It's taking some getting used to but at least I have more time for my hobbies (Poetry,.. more..