Curse

This is about a character in a book I've written. She has been cursed, and she hurts everyone she loves, mentally and physically. That's why she doesn't want others to care about her, and she starts to hide her true emotions about everything.

 

His ice-cold blue eyes
stare at me as if
I'm a ghost or a shade,
well maybe I am.

I don't want to hurt,
but pain accompanies me.
How do I live, do I cope
with an illness like this?

I wished I were stronger,
stronger than life itself.
An enemy worth fighting,
a friend worth fighting for.

But I'm merely a girl -
nothing more than that.
Yet I hurt the people
that care for me like friends
do.

Can I call them friends?
Are they family perhaps?
To me they're strangers
I just happened to meet.

Through their eyes I see
myself as a monster.
Deep inside I know I'm not,
but they see me that way.

I wished I could say:
"I cannot help it."
But I cannot lie,
even if I don't care at all.



This curse I am under,
it's a true curse to me.
Why can't I be normal?
Even for only one day...

Reviews

[Distant horizons]

Nicely penned piece

[Sabine]

This is a poem based on belief that as an author you so masterfully control.
You write,

His ice-cold blue eyes
stare at me as if
I'm a ghost or a shade,
well maybe I am.

That is why your introductory lines work so well to propose, or set the proposition of belief (and/or disbelief) by suggesting the reader see through the gaze of ice-cold blue eyes. Wonderfully creative. Sabine*

[Spoken]

very interesting character you've developed. A great character can make a story, pull people in. Nice!

[Saturnalia]

Very nice. At first, I went "emo poem" but this is something more. I'm happy that you don't use darkness, despair, etc, etc. However, some lines feel cliche and trite. They can be fixed easily, but keep an eye out for them. Anyway, my favorite lines are:
"But I'm merely a girl -
nothing more than that.
Yet I hurt the people
that care for me like friends
do."

They really speak the truth.

[just is]

Boy! I have been here in my days, I used to feel this way, you have captured the feelings well in this.
a well designed poem here.