Storm

From the moment I saw his eyes I knew something was wrong. They were filled with tears, and the twinkle that always appeared when he felt happy was gone. He looked at me in a way I had never seen him look before. As if he were someone different.
I could see his hands wanted to reach out for me, but they didn't. He stood there as if he were a statue. Cold, patient and lonely.

The wind blew, the storm was getting worse. But I did not care. Not now. All I saw was him. I called for him, but the wind took my voice away and lifted it high to the stars. He came closer, slowly. Suddenly he was standing in front of me. I looked up at him.
"I have to tell you something," he whispered.
I did not have to answer; he could read the question in my eyes.
"I'll have to leave."
I knew it. It had already lasted too long, our own little fairy tale.
I did not touch him. I did not embrace him. I did not kiss him. I didn't even look at him for the last time. I simply turned around and walked away. I told myself it would be easier that way.

Now I know that it was not. I keep telling myself if he would have gone if I had tried to stop him. If I had given him a last kiss - a kiss of goodbye. If I had told him to stay with me. I don't know. I'll never know.
I'll never see him again. This morning I heard my father tell my mother that my love would not return. I wasn't supposed to hear it. But I heard it anyway.

Author's Note

You can see it as a chapter of a story that I'm never going to start or finish. This is just a thought that popped up inside my head, and I wrote it down.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

The chapter told a sad story. When two people announce the love is dead. Small possibility of the love to be re-born. Words are permanent scars. I like the complete story. You could expand and add detail to the reason for separation. A very good story.
Coyote

[Jo]

Wow, this is so lovely. The simplicity of it and that it's so straightforward with the emotions is what I love the most. Really beautiful, nothing I could say to improve it. You really captured the pain and misery here.

[Fidheallir]

I like your use of simple language to convey emotion. The way that you undermine the reader's expectation of how someone "should" act when their loved one is going away makes it more powerful.
However, I would suggest cutting the last line. The metaphor works better if you don't try to explain it to the reader.

[dixie]

wow! you put alot of emotion into it. i like the concept of not starting or finishing it. sometimes the best things are ideas that enter our minds. again WOW!!!