I Watched You Die

This was written awhile back, I just can't remember when. I remember the sadness though.....

Your mangled body
your pale lips
my heart stops like
it was just hit
I watched you die
My salty tears of
agony and pain
mixed with your blood
of crimson rain
I watched you die
Your ruffled hair
your lifeless eyes
No matter how hard
I continue to cry
I watched you die
I layed my head on
your no longer beating chest
Cursing how we got in
this mess
I slowly begin to close
my eyes
This is the end of
the line
You've lost you life
and I've lost mine
I watched you die

 

Author's Note

Please tell me what you think of it. Thankyou!

Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

So sad but well written, I like it. It flows nicely.

My salty tears of
agony and pain
mixed with your blood
of crimson rain... my favorite lines

You've lost you life
and I've lost mine
I watched you die.... So sad

[Vatsayayana]

This is a wonderful piece.
I'm thoroughly enjoying reading through your work and seeing such a wide array of ideas and images that you draw upon.

"My salty tears of
agony and pain
mixed with your blood
of crimson rain"

This is stunning. The wording here is perfect. Such pain in the words, it makes you want to reach out and catch a salty tear upon your fingertip and taste the sorrow. I'm very impressed. Brava!

[Amanda]

i felt the pain radiate through the words...it was profound.

it was like watching the death through your eyes, the pain and the anguish of losing someone.

simple and true.

[laceyjane23]

this is a great raw piece! i love poems that are filled with emotion, keep on writing i look forward to reading more of your work!
laceyjane