Before you ask how I've been holding up, I want you to know that I'm just fine. I figured you'd ask because you've always been so warm and selfless. And yes, that's me being sarcastic, I know you always loved that about me. Maybe we can take this opportunity for you to get a few things out in the open since I'm convinced that our entire stint was just one big ongoing lie. First things first: I used to ponder whether or not that magic number of yours that at one time brought you to tears found a way to climb higher when monogamously speaking, it was supposed to stay frozen. Just say it so that I have some closure. Was my lust just not enough for you? Did you dispose of those twelve upside down roses to the right of your bed that were saturated in dust because you found another hand puppet to play with? Was it the guy whose name started with a C, or maybe the guy whose name started with an S? This is just getting confusing now. I just really hope that my eyes were the only ones to see the things that were unveiled to me on the fourteenth day of February.
I want you to know Michelle that I no longer listen to our song from "Juno" that we used to love. Because I used to not be able to see what anyone could see in anyone else but you, but my shades have since been lifted, and now I can. I also no longer think that that song that the Beatles wrote about you is beautiful. I actually find it to be dull and stupid.
I was just thinking of something funny. Do you remember that endless night we shared together on the floor of your bathroom because I was too afraid to leave you alone? Even that night wasn't severe enough to stop you from spitting obscenities at me when all I was trying to do was take care of you. It's ok though. Did you mean to say "thank you" instead? I know sometimes you can mix your words up without realizing it. Tell me, how did you decide whether Jekyll or Hyde was making an appearance once the bottle was flipped upside down, and how come you had to be inebriated to make those three dangerous words sound sincere? I always treated you like gold Michelle, and I was just your rusty bracelet that you so securely had wrapped around your wrist. I really should have gotten out of the fire when I could. But c'mon, this was my first rodeo. I was oblivious to the fact that you had plans to leave me for dead. Was I wrong to wonder wheather or not this was normal and we were just going through the motions?
I know the core of our back and forths concentrated on all of your green days that you never told me about, but I always knew. I was with you long enough to know that you were always sweet enough to have anything that I disapproved of on the top of your to-do list. Let me just tell you that I know I was never good enough for you, but I did try. Looking back on it, you were my blessing in disguise. So for putting me out of my misery, I thank you. And to whom it may concern, I ask that there be no clapping of the hands at the conclusion of these syllables that you have just read. For nothing involving Michelle is worthy of even the dimmest of ovations.
Feels like you are being very open and honest with yourself...I wonder why you never sent it (if this is autobiographical). Having "balls" doesn't make you man and I hate that so many people out there cannot seem to comprehend that. Interesting, you had me from start to finish.
Oddly enough, I somehow was able to relate while reading this. You have captured the raw emotions of heartache and resentment with your words, well done!
Sounds like you dodged a "bullet" .. if there is drama in dating ..there will be drama in marriage.. people will be who they are..and there is no changing them...
Gah! can't do the standing ovation now... on second thought *Speechless* Thankyou for writing, it's painful, heartbreaking and realistic all in the same, a bit of an elegy to colse a fairy tale, maybe? Beautiful yet horrible. Thankyou so much for sharing, it's quite an honor to read ^.^
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much for reading, and thank you for the kind words.
Wow this was so beautiful, I LOVED IT, specially because I feel like ...him XD! But I don't really know, anyway. That was awesome and yes it does need to be praised, good job.
Wow was that good. Stark and sincere at the same time. I enjoyed reading that alot. It gave abreak from all the 'i miss u' stuff...a great piece...loved it:-):-):-D.
Wow, really amazing!
This is something I'd definitely say to my ex, I just never had that courage, and those wise words you used. It seems like I'm reading my own love story.
I love your expressions, and I love the way you express your emotions through those sarcastic expressions... I like it because it's not like: 'I'm crying over you, come back.'', but more like: ''I'm just fine'' even if you might be crushing inside.. I just feel very strong pain, and at the same time, strength and pride in this message.
It's just... amazing.
Oh, and, i never heard that song before, but definitely will now :D
Posted 11 Years Ago
11 Years Ago
Thank you so much for the kind words! I definitely recommend listening to the song as well.
I've been writing on and off since high school for personal pleasure. I love music and quotes with a strong meaning or a deep/sad meaning behind it. 27 year old male from Long Island New York.
I .. more..