How does it feel?

I’ve been shown no remorse

? How does it feel with out being forced ?

I don’t know anymore and that’s my discourse

Get off of your high horse

? How does it feel to be comfortable in your own skin ?

Wish someone would enlighten me so I can fit in

? How does it feel to rest assured ?

Looking at life thinking what a waste

Tears flowing from your face

That’s half numb

Until the rest of your body feels the same way

Searching for a reason to stay

? How does it feel to celebrate a happy birthday ?

I forgot a cause for celebration turned into a cursed day

And I know about that in the worst way

I’ve been shown no remorse

? How does it feel to sleep with out a pill or being forced ?

See… it’s been a month now, I still can’t sleep

Sickened by the sight of sobriety can’t eat

I’d rather stay in bed instead of

Stepping outside to see the sun shining above

It couldn’t have been you

All the s**t I did

You were supposed to be an Uncle to my kid

A small sentence with no bid

? How does it feel to you does it even matter ?

? Or does it affect the way you live ?

The mental torture that I see

Is taking over me

Feel like I’m dying slowly

So

I need to know…

? How does it feel to lay in your bed at night ?

Can you close your eyes? Are we battling the same fight?

? How does it feel to see me breathing through a machine ?

? How does it feel to look me in the eye with conscience clean ?

? How does it feel to look at my family ?

That welcomed you with open arms

 

!? How does it feel to know you almost killed me ?!

It’s like every day I wake my hatred is constantly building

!? How does it feel to pull that s**t on me and squeeze ?!

We were supposed to be brothers until we didn’t breathe

You were supposed to be my little brother

Whatever help you needed I had it covered

!? How does it feel to shoot that gun ?!

! The Doc said one inch and I was done !

!? How does it feel to watch me bleed and shoot me in the face ?!

! ONE F*****G INCH !

And my existence gets erased

 

Allow me to provide a window to my side

See half the time that I’m alive I wish I died

The weight is ripping me apart

Fork in the road now I’m closer to a cold and black heart

I look in the mirror and have a reminder

Do you have a new perspective?

Or have you gotten blinder?

And my face still burns my hands still shake

It’s like every day I wait

In the hope that tomorrow brings my wake

But it’s nothing new I guess pain is fate

Sentenced to life no parole or chance to make

An escape